i love it!  larry's sense of humor is now immortalized and part of endless
loop we call the internet!  way to go, larry!  you always did rock and now
will continue to do so, forever!<smiling>

kate

Some stole Larry's "Little Billy Evans" story.

                               Sad Sack

Claim:   Little Billy Evans needs your help to obtain a real body to replace
the burlap sack full of leaves that now serves as his trunk.

Status:   False.

Example:   [Collected on the Internet, 1999]

     I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because
I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says
it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer,
and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore. The reason
she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't
hurt, except when I go to sleep.

     The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled
with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of
us havin' no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but
we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire
crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body.
Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it
chafes her real bad.

     I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail.
Dr. Johansen said if you foward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up
with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers
from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the
angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take
up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors
could help me better then.

     Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my
lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every
time you foward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the
angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my
leaves to rot before I turn 10.

     If you don't foward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean
heartless person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head.
She says that she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own
guilt-ridden stomach. What kind of wretched person are you that you can't
take five lousy minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can
feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor,
bodiless nine-year-old boy?

     Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it's hard.

     I wish I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.

     Thank You.
     Billy 'Smiles' Evans,
     The boy with just a head.
     And a burlap sack for a body.

Origins:   A wonderfully sardonic spoof of the endless "help a dying child"
pleas, this too is forwarded to us with "Is this true?" queries attached by
people who either have leaf-filled burlap sacks for heads or who think that
being skeptical means "I must ask about everything instead of ever relying
upon my own brain." The puppy is a nice touch; if only the message had
mentioned Jesus, it would have qualified for an extra 10 points on the
glurge-o-meter.

Last updated:   18 March 2007

The URL for this page is http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/burlap.asp

... Windows detected!    Delete? (Y/HELL YES!)
___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12

I think snopes.com summation isa whoolly appropriate tribute to lrry's
wondrful creativity and imagination!