Well, I would need a ladder to get into one of those because of the
arthritis in my knees, but if my knees were fine, the congestive heart
failure entitles me to a disabled permit since I can only walk short
distances. So that could be it.

Carole

Someone who ended up with a disability and cannot afford to replace
their vehicle? Someone with heart problems? Someone undergoing long term
chemotherapy? The list is quite long.

Ari

I *love* driving big four wheel drive trucks!  It's total murder getting in
and out of them, but it's my little way of thumbing my nose at OA, RA, FMS
and PPS.  I also have a step installed on them so I can slowly and carefully
climb in and out of them.  But once I make it inside the cab I'm free and
flashy and "normal" for a while.  Sadly, my last big Dodge 4 door, four
wheel drive with the hemi engine (11 miles per gallon on the 04 model but
the newer hemi's get much better mileage) had to be traded off on a puny
little truck- a Chevy Colorado.  My heart still aches for that Dodge.....
and getting in and out of the puny truck still isn't all that easy, either.

Leslie- 4 months out on my new hip and still with a fair amount of muscle
pain, constantly swelling leg and foot and an icky limp but determined to
get past that, too!

Jo, we are only human and irritable happens...It is nice to come here, ask
and vent and get help with a nagging question ;) instead of voicing that
frustration on others...
Yep...we are all in this together, and sometimes hanging on to anything
normal is what gets us through the day...
Hugs Cindy

Jo,

I know i've thought the same thing at times.  However, I have fibro
and I don't "look" disabled.  There have been times I was aching all
over, but no one would have known it by the way I carried myself.  As
an example I have come the place where I can not take care of my
disabled daughter by myself anymore (after 30 years).  My pain level
had skyrocketed.  When I ask for help at the day program gettting her
in and out of the car the director said, "But you look so good.  We
didn't realize you needed help."

Anyway, I guess what I am trying to say is we just don't know unless
we are really in their body.  At least you gave them the benefit of
the doubt.

debbie m.

Easy - it was a mental handicap.

The other person

Sometimes we get into discussions of handicap parking permits.  When they
can or should be used, their miss use etc.  And the fact that often you
cannot readily see why someone is disabled.

I always try to at least mentally give them the benefit of the doubt.  Many
people have problems I don't see, but really would not want to share.

But yesterday we parked next to a Big ole pick-up truck that had handicap
plates.  One of those with the king cab that can be such a bitch to climb
into and out of if you are physically in good shape.

I couldn't get into one of those trucks or back out anymore even with help.
Nothing in the truck bed indicated it ever carried any special equipment.

So what disability am I not thinking of that allows you to run around in a
big ole truck with oversize wheels but can't park out a few spaces.

Jo

i've read yours and all the other replies.  by now, i suspect you are
already "talked down out of this one", sweetie.  at least, i hope so.  hey,
and everybody (not just disabled people) is allowed to get a teensy bit
cranky once in awhile.  i know i sure do and so does my son.

i read all these responses, because i've been looking for the common thread
that makes people think others are not disabled.  i know it's not an obvious
visual common thread, because i can't tell you how many times i've had
people question me about my parking in handicapped spaces--me, with a
clearly visible parking permit and limp and cane (most of the time).  and
how many, many times i've heard people tell me how strong i am--when my bod
is outrageously acting up, but i don't want to bother anybody with that fact
and don't ask for help.  or when something catastrophic happens in my life
and my insides are churning and mental overwhelm hits, or i can't get a
handle on my emotions inside to cope well enough to suit me, and still don't
ask for help.

and why don't i ask?--probably because i sort of know/believe/think that
even though things might be permanent, in the physical sense, many/most are
also temporary in the mental and emotional sense.  (by that i mean riding
out whatever it is, until the mental and emotional changes; and it usually
does.)  and too, possibly because i know that adapting has been my way of
life, since 1971--so, maybe i'm self-deluded and think/believe i can adapt
to/handle anything.<g>  that's not totally true, i just don't do what i know
i can't do (but i do try doing what i haven't convinced myself yet that i
can't do, too).  and btw, i may not ask for it often, but i do sooooo
gratefully accept help, so it is not my being too proud.  i don't
think.<smile>

i think i may have found the common thread to why people have a hard time
accepting that others are disabled, even though they may not look
disabled--i think it's 'tude--an unintentionally deceptive attitude, made
apparent by body english (demeanor and facial expression) or by what is said
or not said.  i'm thinking . . . it's kind of like the difference between
experiencing the same horrible thing as somebody else, where one of you
winds up living like a victim and the other doesn't.  soooo, maybe many
"normal" and disabled people expect disabled people to have the demeanor
(bearing and behaviors) and speech patterns of a victim.--not sure about
that being exactly correct, but it sounds plausible (as one of many possible
sets of expectations).  y'think?  but i think i'm saying, it's about
expectations not being met, or someone not fitting the expectations of what
others think disabled looks/sounds/seems like.  more than just stereotypical
expectations, though.

ok, all done for now, cuz my brain hurts.  i think i sprained my brain by
using it too much on this.LOL  i'll leave the finishing of my incomplete
thinking to the rest of you guys.

kate