first of all, thank you, every one of you, for your love and support.  you
are all soooo very kind and very sweet.

it really was as bad as i was told it was.  maybe even a little worse.  at
one point, my father didn't even recognize me; he asked who i was.  this is
the man at death's door a few weeks ago, who in icu while being tested by
the doctor for competency--was asked his name, got it right; was asked the
date and year, got them right; was asked where he was, got it right; was
asked who the current president of the united states is and answered, "the
wrong man."  and brought the doctor, doing the testing, to tears of
laughter.  when he caught his breath, the doctor ultimately said, "there's
nothing wrong with your mind."  (this is not meant as a political comment on
my part, but a report of what actually occurred.)

rationally, i can't see how my father can survive another week, let alone
weeks or to the end of summer.  this decline has been going on since tuesday
and steadily getting worse.  (it figures i'd take a stress relieving break
from it all, at precisely the wrong time.  i'm about as dumb as a rock.)  my
bil said he didn't call me sooner, because he hoped it was a temporary
set-back.  my father is even no longer voiding, nor having bm's for the past
5 days.  his body is definitely preparing for his departure.

my kid sister, the baby in the family, was an emotional mess when i got
there (has been since tuesday).  she was always daddy's girl and this is all
hitting her very hard.  her poor husband was frazzled trying to help her
emotionally and take care of our father, too.  i think the hospice nurse and
i somehow managed to bring her back to herself.  for now. . .

my son is over there at this moment (was there with me earlier, too.
arrived about an hour after i did.).  he told me he's going to chase my
sister and her hubby out of their house for a few hours, to give them a
break.  they know alex has been through this before and trust him.  and they
definitely need a break.

i'm tired.  seems like a long day.  think i need to kick back and take some
pain meds.  and maybe just veg in front of the tv, to numb my brain.

kate