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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Arthritis / May 2007Good news for once!
Hello, I feel bad to says that I have good news, my husband is working this week end, to me it will be a stress free two Days, should I feel happy about that? I am so confused with my feelings, my surgery coming, I like my Daughter to be here, and I know that she can't, I am on a roller coaster who doesn't stop. Someone tell me something that's hurting my feelings, I cry, someone tell me something nice I still cry. If a person keeps telling me that I'm worthless, ugly, stupid, after a while, I believe it. Oh I am sorry, my BS again, you all need to hear positive things, and I do not want to lose all the Angels in the group. Have a wonderful week end, Gentle hugs. Gigi aka Kiki ( my husband call me Gigi, I hate it, my Grand-Mother found the nickname Kiki 50 years ago, I feel like a French poodle, but love the nick, in memory of my Nona) >Oh I am sorry, my BS again, you all need to hear positive things, and I do >not want to lose all the Angels in the group. >Have a wonderful week end, It's not BS, it's how you feel. YOU are important. Your feelings are important. If it helps to express them here then by all means do so. If everyone who posted here just posted sweetness and light all the time it would be a very quiet place and not doing what it is meant to do. Kiki You are suffering from some serious spousal abuse. Get thee to a counselor and get some help. No one should have to suffer this and there are things you can do. GaryZ > Hello, > [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > found the nickname Kiki 50 years ago, I feel like a French poodle, but > love the nick, in memory of my Nona) KiKi, Why do you do this to yourself??? You are a human being, and that alone makes you a VALUABLE person!!! You have the ability inside of you to make yourself so much happier and to shut out all the ugly things that others throw your way. Usually when someone is so busy bullying and putting down others, it is because they are trying to cover up their own insecurities. Kiki, please, believe in yourself!!! What you do in life is just as important as anyone else. Your pain is also just as important as anyone else. So are your fears, triumphs, joys, and any other emotions you might have. We ALL have those emotions. Please, please, do NOT let your husband or anyone else hurt you with words that are untruths. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you ARE valuable and that you DO matter, and BELIEVE it when you do it. It is only normal to have fears before surgery. Shoot, I would be more worried about you if you didn't have any fear about it. You are also totally normal to want to get rid of the pain and to not have to deal with it. It wears on a person and can be most exhausting when you are in constant pain. Demand better control of your pain, and of all of your life, YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! Seek counselling to help you if you need it, but always know that you do have it inside you to realize what a valuable person you are and that you have the strength to do what ever you put your mind to. We are your family here, it hurts to see you constantly beating yourself up. We want to be here for you and help you and listen, but most of all, we want you to see the person WE see, and that is someone who is kind, compassionate, and loving, and a fellow family member. Please, Kiki, please, believe in yourself and know how much we care about you here in ASA!!! . . . Donna G. . . . ANGELS EXIST, but some times, since they don't all have wings, we call them FRIENDS...... Thank you Donna for a wonderful letter, I'm trying so hard, going forward few steps. and going back as soon as someone says something mean, I had counseling many times in the past twenty years, feeling good after the session, even while driving home, and coming home, the master knew exactly what to says and I crumble like a cookie, am I weak ? yes, need, excuse my French, bigger balls, yes, tell him to get lost, yes.you know what, I am afraid of the unknown, if I leave, I have freedom and piece of mind, that's all, after the recovery from my surgery, I will need the other one done, so that's one more year all together, I turned 60 last November, so what kind of job can I find, I was advice with sarcasm that I could go greeting people at Wal Mart, the man makes good money, I get $120 a week for the past 10 years, used to be $100, and now the King pays for my gas, so 120 for groceries, and household items, I do my own hair, do not buy jewelry or fancy stuff, but really do not crave for that kind of stuff,, books are my passion, thank for the library, and movies, Netflix is great. As you says, you are my Family, and it feel good to be able to tell you how I feel, I'm afraid of the surgery, yes, but in way I am going thinking if the worst should happen, I will never see his face, or hear his commanding voice again, but I have a Daughter and Grand-Daughter that I love dearly, and like to see few more years, so what ever happen will happen. Donna, thank you for telling me things that make me feel like a person, a human being. And thank you for calling me Kiki. Kiki. > KiKi, > [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > ANGELS EXIST, but some times, since they don't all have wings, we call > them FRIENDS...... > KiKi, > [quoted text clipped - 38 lines] > ANGELS EXIST, but some times, since they don't all have wings, we call > them FRIENDS...... I do not think it can be said any better than above. Sometimes though it is both parties that have to seek help to make the change in their life. I have seen it work this way several times. It is worth doing. Harv Yes, Donna's letter is wonderful, kind and a gentle kick in the a.s ( can I say that here) to get me going, as for my spouse, he never will go to counseling, he's perfectly sane and right, according to him. You know what, right now I am sitting at my kitchen door, the birds singing , my cats watching them, that moment is so peaceful,today its a little overcast, feed my mood,I love Fall and Winter, where you can blend in, hide, I feel invisible. I wish you a good week end. Kiki' >> KiKi, >> [quoted text clipped - 43 lines] > I have seen it work this way several times. It is worth doing. > Harv > Yes, Donna's letter is wonderful, kind and a gentle kick in the a.s ( can > I say that here) to get me going, as for my spouse, he never will go to [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Kiki' You are getting the message of the group. Enjoy the moments. Hold on the good ones. Polish them and save them. Keep the one from sitting at your door today as a place you can go in your mind when you need a break. When you have surgery scheduled you know you will need those small jewels to look at and take you away from stress and pain. You can't change another person. You can't change your spouse, we can't change you. All you really control is how you will react to the world around you. We all know when we get it right. The trick is hanging on to those times and figuring our how to have more of them. Now my weekend Parade magazine tells me I need to hug someone to improve my health. I suppose I could hug Charlie. Maybe later. For now I'm going to go pet and groom my dog Kayla. That's good for me too and she won't think I've lost my mind. Jo Kiki, It hurts to read your posts. I've been where you are and I know how it feels. I too, was afraid of the unknown. However, when I did leave I've neve regretted it. Can you apply for disability? Have you talked with a lawyer to see what you would get out of the divorce? After several failed attempts to leave I went to a group for abused women and that helped me through the toughest times and helped me not to go back when I got scared. It took me five years before I could finally leave after I had made upmy mind to not live like that anymore. (that has been almost 10 years ago) I hope that you can find some way to have some peace in your future. debbie m. Thank you Debbie, I am waiting to get my two hips replaced to take action, when I do leave, it will be without any regrets also. just a sense of relief and freedom. I talked to an attorney, but when I mention that I needed to wait to get well, ( my hips) she told me to come back at that time. You are very kind, and feel lucky to be part of your big Family in this group, Take care. Kiki. > Kiki, > [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > debbie m. Hi Kiki, My heart aches for you. My father was like your husband. I have to tell you that the only thing I felt when he died was relief and for my Mom, it was freedom. I was so glad that I never had to listen to him again. I did the best thing I could have done for myself too. I went for therapy. I had a LOT of anger inside that needed to be let out, and I had the lowest self esteem on the planet. Do what you need to do for yourself. And remember that we are always here if you need to vent or talk or whatever. We know you are special and we love you! Hugs, Carole > Thank you Debbie, I am waiting to get my two hips replaced to take action, > when I do leave, it will be without any regrets also. just a sense of relief [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Kiki. (((((((((((((((Kiki))))))))))))))) personally, I like Kiki - it's unique. Gigi always has me looking to see if Maurice Chevalier is lurking in the shadows! so, I've had too much going on to reply before now and others have said much of what I though. Donna G, as usual, had much wisdom to pass on! But, I'll tell you that even those of us in good marriages are relieved to be alone at home at times! You certainly should NOT feel bad because you enjoyed having a weekend with less of the stresses your husband dumps on you. Now then, when you have your surgery, please emphasize to you doctor that you will have NO help with things at home, so you need to stay in rehab as long as possible and be in the best possible shape before returning home. That is so much wiser than being expected to do things you are not yet well enough for. And hopefully rehab will be less stressful than home for you, especially if your doc lets you say it's all at HIS insistence. a few other thoughts - current federal law allows you to stay on your husband's insurance for a certain length of time should you divorce. I forget how long, but it is all part of the COBRA laws concerning continuity of health insurance. That right there would help some with the hip replacement issues. Meanwhile, your local women's shelter probably has support groups for women in abusive relationships where you could find some folks to help you out. And I imagine they have lists of lawyers who are the most effective in situations such as yours, who might be able to get you appropriate support not only post-divorce, but while you are going through a divorse - though laws vary from state to state. Couldn't hurt to find out, just don't tell that other creature living in your house. and there'd be nothing wrong with being a greeter at WalMart! How many times have you been tired and not looking forward to more shopping, just to have a greeter's friendly smile brighten your day a bit? Heck, one of the stores where I lived in Florida had a greeter who was in a wheelchair, so you wouldn't even have to have both hips fixed to do it....... Hang in there, girl. You're going to come through surgery fine and you'll fell so much better afterwards that you'll be able to take more steps to help your future. And remember, you have the powerful ASA prayer machine behind you.  SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare > replacement issues. Meanwhile, your local women's shelter probably has > support groups for women in abusive relationships where you could find some [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > divorse - though laws vary from state to state. Couldn't hurt to find out, > just don't tell that other creature living in your house. Another place to go is Catholic Charities or look in the phonebook for a Providence House. You do not have to be catholic to go there, they are there to help any woman who is being abused. Providence House has nice places for women to go to who need to get out of abusive relationships. They will also help you with insurance, lawyers, etc. > and there'd be nothing wrong with being a greeter at WalMart! How many times > have you been tired and not looking forward to more shopping, just to have a > greeter's friendly smile brighten your day a bit? Heck, one of the stores > where I lived in Florida had a greeter who was in a wheelchair, so you > wouldn't even have to have both hips fixed to do it....... That's a great idea! I too love being greeted when I go into the store, and I like being thanked for shopping there when I leave. For all of the negative things that are said about WalMart, that is one of the positives I like about going there. > Hang in there, girl. You're going to come through surgery fine and you'll > fell so much better afterwards that you'll be able to take more steps to help > your future. And remember, you have the powerful ASA prayer machine behind > you. Yea, and when we pray, God listens :))))) BIG HUGS, Carole > Another place to go is Catholic Charities or > look in the phonebook for a Providence > House. You do not have to be catholic to go > there, they are there to help any woman who > is being abused. There is also Episcopal Community Services and Salvation Army. On May 9, 6:06 pm, "california_chief" <Fire_Chief@Jamacha_Junction_FD.ca.us> wrote: > > Another place to go is Catholic Charities or > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > There is also Episcopal Community Services and Salvation Army. What big city professional FD have you retired from, Chief? It's none of your business. Go away! Gwen > On May 9, 6:06 pm, "california_chief" > <Fire_Chief@Jamacha_Junction_FD.ca.us> wrote: [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > What big city professional FD have you retired from, Chief? On May 13, 1:55 pm, <sweetpickl...@SPAMknology.net> wrote: > It's none of your business. Go away! Why isn't it? He posted the claim to firefighter newsgroups after all? Is he the retired professional firefighter he claims to be or not? Of course you realize that it's a felony to pretend to be a firefighter or police officer, right? > Gwen > [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > > > What big city professional FD have you retired from, Chief? It seems to me I heard somewhere that howard.aubrey@gmail.com wrote in article <1179087964.463212.166870@q75g2000hsh.googlegroups.com>: >Of course you realize that it's a felony to pretend to be a >firefighter or police officer, right? It's *can be* a felony *IF** the pretense is in an attempt to act *as* a safety officer; it has nothing to do with what someone says on the Internet. You'd think a real firefighter would know that. But of course we only have your word that you're a real firefighter and not a pretender, since you haven't provided any verification either. Maybe you're a professional (or amateur) guitar player. ;-) Actually, first you'd have to prove that a person did attempt to act like an officer by detaining someone, using a siren, putting on red or blue flashing lights, or wearing a uniform intended to give that impression. To quote from one poster in a different group, "Over the next couple of days, the greatest threat we have to deal with will be all the trolls that come to these groups. Let them speak (complain to their ISP's for off-topic posts by all means), but please don't feed the trolls. WOW!!! Recognize that, Howard? According to Google, over the past year Howard has posted 681 messages to newsgroups; I couldn't take time to look at all of them, but the first 150 on Google's list were posted to the following newsgroups: soc.culture.israel aus.politics alt.firefighters talk.politics.mideast alt.guitar.amps rec.autos.driving can.politics misc.emerg-services talk.politics.european-union alt.religion.islam soc.culture.jewish alt.activism soc.culture.iraq soc.culture.europe alt.emergency-services.moderated alt.fan.rush-limbaugh alt.politics.democrats.d alt.security.terrorism alt.revisionism alt.politics.republican alt.bible.prophecy alt.guitar alt.arabic.politics alt.autos.lexus soc.culture.usa sci.med.nursing misc.headlines alt.support.arthritis soc.culture.palestine Folks, I think maybe we've been visited by a true believer or a neurotic, or maybe both. SignatureDon Kirkman > It's *can be* a felony *IF** the pretense is in an attempt to act *as* a > safety officer; it has nothing to do with what someone says on the > Internet. You'd think a real firefighter would know that. But of > course we only have your word that you're a real firefighter and not a > pretender, since you haven't provided any verification either. Maybe > you're a professional (or amateur) guitar player. ;-) Nah, Don, he doesn't have the brains to be able to play guitar :) > Folks, I think maybe we've been visited by a true believer or a > neurotic, or maybe both. In any case, he has too much time on his hands. Bud > According to Google, over the past year Howard has posted 681 messages > to newsgroups; I couldn't take time to look at all of them, but the [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > Folks, I think maybe we've been visited by a true believer or a > neurotic, or maybe both. Wellll, I have had enough. It will take me more than an hour of My time but GMail is going to hear about it until its coming out of their ears. Any help is for the newsgroup. Harv > > According to Google, over the past year Howard has posted 681 messages > > to newsgroups; I couldn't take time to look at all of them, but the [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] > Any help is for the newsgroup. > Harv So, you accept the fact that this 'california-chief' guy is claiming to be retired as a chief of a big city fire department when he is lying? That's so sad....and so insulting to real firefighters. Guess you just don't care about them though... > It seems to me I heard somewhere that howard.aub...@gmail.com wrote in > article <1179087964.463212.166...@q75g2000hsh.googlegroups.com>: [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > > According to Google, over the past year Howard has posted 681 messages WOW!!! Now that takes balls!! In the past year YOU posted 1017 messages!' Carry on! > to newsgroups; I couldn't take time to look at all of them, but the > first 150 on Google's list were posted to the following newsgroups: Hmm, and yours included... alt.underagenudes.com alt.teenboys.fan alt.teensex. fan alt.lindsaylohannude.org alt.kiefersutherlandnaked.org. Got to be careful about that usenet search thingy... Might come back to haunt you... > Folks, I think maybe we've been visited by a true believer or a > neurotic, or maybe both. > -- > Don Kirkman Indeed. You're talking about yourself, right??? : -} Your post in this newsgroup which had nothing to do with the support of arthritis has been reported to the servers used. Harv >> It seems to me I heard somewhere that howard.aub...@gmail.com wrote in >> article <1179087964.463212.166...@q75g2000hsh.googlegroups.com>: [quoted text clipped - 49 lines] > > Indeed. You're talking about yourself, right??? : -} It seems to me I heard somewhere that howard.aubrey@gmail.com wrote in article <1179154796.037484.229090@k79g2000hse.googlegroups.com>: >> It seems to me I heard somewhere that howard.aub...@gmail.com wrote in >> article <1179087964.463212.166...@q75g2000hsh.googlegroups.com>: >> >Of course you realize that it's a felony to pretend to be a >> >firefighter or police officer, right? >> It's *can be* a felony *IF** the pretense is in an attempt to act *as* a >> safety officer; it has nothing to do with what someone says on the >> Internet. You'd think a real firefighter would know that. But of >> course we only have your word that you're a real firefighter and not a >> pretender, since you haven't provided any verification either. Maybe >> you're a professional (or amateur) guitar player. ;-) >> Actually, first you'd have to prove that a person did attempt to act >> like an officer by detaining someone, using a siren, putting on red or >> blue flashing lights, or wearing a uniform intended to give that >> impression. Passing this one by, I see. >> To quote from one poster in a different group, "Over the next couple of >> days, the greatest threat we have to deal with will be all the trolls >> that come to these groups. Let them speak (complain to their ISP's for >> off-topic posts by all means), but please don't feed the trolls. WOW!!! >> According to Google, over the past year Howard has posted 681 messages >WOW!!! Now that takes balls!! In the past year YOU posted 1017 >messages!' >Carry on! I intend to; my point was not the number of messages but the number and type of newsgroups you've posted in. I participate in about thirty newsgroups, all of them dealing with programming and programs, recreation, health, social issues, and travel. >> to newsgroups; I couldn't take time to look at all of them, but the >> first 150 on Google's list were posted to the following newsgroups: >Hmm, and yours included... >alt.underagenudes.com >alt.teenboys.fan >alt.teensex. fan >alt.lindsaylohannude.org >alt.kiefersutherlandnaked.org. Outright lies. Post the Message ID and user name of any message you claim I've posted to any of those or similar newsgroups. And expect your ISP to hear from me if you can't substantiate this. >Got to be careful about that usenet search thingy... >Might come back to haunt you... Only if anyone believes your lies, and your credibility was never high to begin with. SignatureDon Kirkman > On May 13, 1:55 pm, <sweetpickl...@SPAMknology.net> wrote: >> It's none of your business. Go away! > > Why isn't it? He posted the claim to firefighter newsgroups after > all? Then ask the question on that newsgroup. If he never posts there again you win. You could also try googling his email address or looking at his posting history to see if he actually claimed to have worked for any big city fire department as a Chief, or if, as he has said here, that he worked for 13 years for a small volunteer fire department in a small California town. > Is he the retired professional firefighter he claims to be or not? I'm sure no one that is a regular on this arthritis group cares at all. > Of course you realize that it's a felony to pretend to be a > firefighter or police officer, right? I doubt there is any law against someone saying on the internet they have worked in any profession. Your activity on this newsgroup may be against your ISP's Acceptable Use Policy though. Have you read it? http://www.rcn.com/legal/index.php Alex, -- Any information is included for informational or entertainment purposes only, is based on my personal experiences & is an expression of my opinion. > Your activity on this newsgroup may be against your ISP's Acceptable Use > Policy though. Have you read it? [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > -- Well said Alex and the way it is. Harv > howard.aub...@gmail.com wrote: > > On May 13, 1:55 pm, <sweetpickl...@SPAMknology.net> wrote: [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > Then ask the question on that newsgroup. If he never posts there again > you win. Have already. He seems to be ducking it for some reason.. ; _} > You could also try googling his email address or looking at his posting > history to see if he actually claimed to have worked for any big city > fire department as a Chief, or if, as he has said here, that he worked > for 13 years for a small volunteer fire department in a small California > town. No, he claimed that he retired from a 'big city career' department. I guess you missed that post?? Little bit of a difference there, don't you agree?? Kind of insulting for those of us who actually did work as professional firefighters... > > Is he the retired professional firefighter he claims to be or not? > > I'm sure no one that is a regular on this arthritis group cares at all. I don't really care, he crossposted to firefighter groups, paybacks are a bitch, aren't they? Take it up with him, he started it after all.... > > Of course you realize that it's a felony to pretend to be a > > firefighter or police officer, right? [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Your activity on this newsgroup may be against your ISP's Acceptable Use > Policy though. Have you read it? Yes indeed, what have I done in violation of that TOS? When are you going to complain about Chiefy's crossposting? Not to mention his insults to real firefighters... Are you a hypocrite or just a whiner? On May 13, 9:28 pm, "howard.aub...@gmail.com" <howard.aub...@gmail.com> wrote: > > howard.aub...@gmail.com wrote: > > > On May 13, 1:55 pm, <sweetpickl...@SPAMknology.net> wrote: [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > > Are you a hypocrite or just a whiner? Here's his post..... http://groups.google.com/group/alt.firefighters/msg/f22cf5e39bbd6b07?dmode=sourc e&hl=en > On May 13, 9:28 pm, "howard.aub...@gmail.com" > <howard.aub...@gmail.com> wrote: [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] >> No, he claimed that he retired from a 'big city career' department. >> I guess you missed that post?? He hasn't made that claim to any newsgroup that I read. >> Little bit of a difference there, don't you agree?? What has been posted to: Newsgroups: alt.firefighters,alt.smokers,alt.smokers.cigars,alt.smokers.pipes, alt.true-crime is no concern of mine or anyone else on this group. >> Kind of insulting for those of us who actually did work as >> professional firefighters... Then his claim is your problem. You are ours. >>>> Is he the retired professional firefighter he claims to be or >>>> not? [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >> are a bitch, aren't they? Take it up with him, he started it >> after all.... He isn't behaving like a troll so I and the other regulars on this group don't have a problem with him, you are acting like a troll so many people on this group have a problem with you. >>>> Of course you realize that it's a felony to pretend to be a >>>> firefighter or police officer, right? [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >> >> Yes indeed, what have I done in violation of that TOS? (a) Defamation. You agree not to post or transmit any content in violation of any applicable law of libel or defamation in the United States or elsewhere. (h) Obscenity. You agree not to post or transmit any obscene or pornographic content, including, but not limited to, child pornography, on or through the Access Service. (i) Harassment, Threats, and Abuse. You agree not to use the Access Service to harass, intimidate, threaten, or abuse any person or entity, by any means, including the use of vulgar, hateful, racially or ethnically offensive, sexually harassing, or otherwise objectionable content. (l) Inappropriate Content. You agree not to post or transmit on or through the Access Service content that is patently inappropriate material under the circumstances - e.g., content or topics not related to the topics focused on by the participants in a particular news group or mailing list. (n) Disruptive Activities. You agree not to use the Access Service to disrupt the normal flow of online dialogue, or otherwise act in a manner that negatively affects use of the Internet by other subscribers, users, individuals, or entities. If you haven't noticed this is a usenet arthritis newsgroup which your posting is disrupting. This is Not a firefighters newsgroup. >> When are you going to complain about Chiefy's crossposting? Not my problem. > Not to mention his insults to real firefighters... Not my problem. >> Are you a hypocrite or just a whiner? Neither, you are the one whining. > Here's his post..... > > http://groups.google.com/group/alt.firefighters/msg/f22cf5e39bbd6b07?dmode=sourc e&hl=en So forward his post to his ISP just like I have forwarded yours to groups-abuse@google.com and abuse@rcn.com Alex, -- Any information is included for informational or entertainment purposes only, is based on my personal experiences & is an expression of my opinion. > howard.aub...@gmail.com wrote: > > On May 13, 9:28 pm, "howard.aub...@gmail.com" [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > He hasn't made that claim to any newsgroup that I read. Try here... http://groups.google.com/group/alt.firefighters/msg/f22cf5e39bbd6b07?dmode=sourc e&hl=en > >> Little bit of a difference there, don't you agree?? > [quoted text clipped - 82 lines] > or entertainment purposes only, is based on my > personal experiences & is an expression of my opinion. Listen to her, Kiki. She's telling the truth. My Bob is a saint, but I look forward almost each day to "alone time" to recharge my batteries and do things that I know he's not interested in doing. So when he leaves for work each afternoon, it's my cue to choose what I want to do. You have a right to your opinions and we here know you're not a hypochrondriac so don't feel bad about yourself. You are a daughter of God (whether you believe in the Christian God or someone/thing else) and you are of great worth. Never - ever - doubt that. We love you, Honey. DeeTee > (((((((((((((((Kiki))))))))))))))) > [quoted text clipped - 53 lines] > behind > you. |
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