Old One, New Punch Line
*****

Dear Abby,
    I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed
as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my
sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite.

   My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling
marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are
prostitutes in Dallas.

   I have two brothers.  One is currently serving a non-parole life
sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994.  My other
brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his
three children.

   I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in
Longview.  She is a part time "working girl".

  All things considered, my problem is this.  I love my fiancé and look
forward to bringing her into the family.  I certainly want to be totally
open and honest with her.

  Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Hillary Clinton for
President?