Brain Cramps

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live
forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that,
but not with all those
flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of
the lowest crime rates in
the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are
the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of
subpoenaed documents.
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half this game
is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President
(DUH)
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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we
need?"--Lee Iacocca
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"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like

Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports
analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton,
President
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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

--Al Gore, VP (damn he's smart)
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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we
received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may
reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
they
go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the

next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S.
Fowler, FCC Chairman