BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!

 Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills
 uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are
 caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of
 dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its
 solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion
 can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated
 feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those
 who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.

 Dihydrogen monoxide:
  #  is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component
  #     of acid rain.
  #  contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
  #  may cause severe burns.
  #  contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
  #  accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
  #  may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness
  #     of automobile brakes.
  #  has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.

Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions!

 Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every
 stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is
 global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice.
 DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the
 midwest, and recently Louisiana.

 Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
   #  as an industrial solvent and coolant.
   #  in nuclear power plants.
   #  in the production of styrofoam.
   #  as a fire retardant.
   #  in many forms of cruel animal research.
   #  in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce
         remains contaminated by this chemical.
   #  as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.

 Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing
 can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The
 impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any
 longer!

 The American government has refused to ban the production,
 distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its
 "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the
 navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments
 with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and
 utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research
 facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated
 underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for
 later use.

... Working at Midas Mufflers is exhausting work.