New Living Will Form

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

    ______a Martini
    ______a Margarita
    ______a Scotch and soda
   
    ______a Bloody Mary
    ______a Vodka and Tonic
   _______a glass of Chardonnay
   
    ______a Steak
    ______Lobster or crab legs
    ______The remote control
   
    ______a bowl of ice cream
    ______The sports page
    ______Chocolate
   
    ______Sex

it should be presumed that I won't ever get any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature: ___________________________

Date: ___________________________

NOTE: I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need embalming when their time comes. If anyone knows the name of this happy place PLEASE pass it on!

... Like high quality chocolate, sex is something one can't get enough of.    
___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12