Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Arthritis / November 2006
OTP: Time for a laugh
|
|
Thread rating:  |
Califchief - 02 Nov 2006 22:04 GMT Originally in alt.support.cancer.prostate
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick!:
Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to go get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. Love you darling! Love, Meghan
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!' "
Broken Coffee Table: $139.00 Hot Breakfast: $4.20 Two Aspirins: $0.28
Saying the right thing, at the right time: Priceless
... For Rent: One mind, never used. Ironjustice has vacated. ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12
Lyn - 03 Nov 2006 02:44 GMT That's funny.
Lyn
Fire Chief - 03 Nov 2006 04:47 GMT > That's funny. Lyn, how have you been? Only 1 post in September and 1 in October. That's not like you. You were averging 3 a month (18 total) January through June. <g>
... I shalll return. Gen. Douglas MacArthur ... Sure, so will a bum check.
Lyn - 03 Nov 2006 14:10 GMT > Lyn, how have you been? Only 1 post in September and > 1 in October. That's not like you. You were averging 3 a [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > I check in daily, not much to say. Arthritis ok, knees wonderful, stenosis a real pain, gives me a bad time but oxy helps a bit. At present I have cellulitis in my right leg and treating it with sulfa meds.
Lost two Dobermans this year. My male Nemo in March while I was home in Australia, to cancer. My female Gisel actually collapsed two years ago this coming Nov 9. She had cardiomyopathy. My 4th Dobe with this. Anyway, the vet at the emergency clinic treated her, became attached to her and really did a great job keeping her up and about. She had some bad bouts, but for the most part the past 22 months were happy, playful and back in her childhood stealing ways. She passed in Jim's arms on Sept 14th. Coughed twice and died. Very peaceful. It was easier losing her as we looked at the 22 months as a gift from God. Can't resent him taking her and giving her quality time with us.
Presently only one dog, Chantilly, an Australian Shepherd. Earned a Rally Novice title on her in the spring and now working on her Rally Advanced title. She took 4th her first show, 2nd her second show. We are showing this weekend and I hope to finish her title in my own club. Hoping for another Aussie next year. Maybe even a Dobe.
Guess I did have something to say after all.
Lyn
Harvey R. Stone - 03 Nov 2006 14:37 GMT And I am so glad that Chief got you to update. May the rest and next year be good for you.
Harv
>> Lyn, how have you been? Only 1 post in September and >> 1 in October. That's not like you. You were averging 3 a [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > > Lyn Lyn - 04 Nov 2006 13:47 GMT >And I am so glad that Chief got you to update. May the rest and next year >be good for you. > >Harv > > Thanks Harvey, back at ya!
Lyn
Squirrely - 05 Nov 2006 14:30 GMT Lyn,
Glad to hear the arthritis and knees are doing good for now. Sorry that the stenosis is giving your problems still. I hope the cellulitis heals quickly.
Sorry to hear of the passing of two of your precious dogs. I feel for you. Hope you do get another Aussie or Dobe this year.
You take care of yourself. I do think of you and miss you when you are not posting.
 Signature Love and hugs Jo
(\__/) .~ ~. )) /O O ./ .' {O__, \ { / . . ) \ |-| '-' \ } )) Warning: squirrels. .( _( )_.' '---.~_ _ _&
>> > I check in daily, not much to say. Arthritis ok, knees wonderful, [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > Lyn Lyn - 03 Nov 2006 14:11 GMT > Lyn, how have you been? Only 1 post in September and > 1 in October. That's not like you. You were averging 3 a [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > I check in daily, not much to say. Arthritis ok, knees wonderful, stenosis a real pain, gives me a bad time but oxy helps a bit. At present I have cellulitis in my right leg and treating it with sulfa meds.
Lost two Dobermans this year. My male Nemo in March while I was home in Australia, to cancer. My female Gisel actually collapsed two years ago this coming Nov 9. She had cardiomyopathy. My 4th Dobe with this. Anyway, the vet at the emergency clinic treated her, became attached to her and really did a great job keeping her up and about. She had some bad bouts, but for the most part the past 22 months were happy, playful and back in her childhood stealing ways. She passed in Jim's arms on Sept 14th. Coughed twice and died. Very peaceful. It was easier losing her as we looked at the 22 months as a gift from God. Can't resent him taking her and giving her quality time with us.
Presently only one dog, Chantilly, an Australian Shepherd. Earned a Rally Novice title on her in the spring and now working on her Rally Advanced title. She took 4th her first show, 2nd her second show. We are showing this weekend and I hope to finish her title in my own club. Hoping for another Aussie next year. Maybe even a Dobe.
Guess I did have something to say after all.
Lyn
johnie - 03 Nov 2006 21:49 GMT Lyn, how nice to see your name on the board. Glad to hear your knees are holding up. I am sorry about your dobermans. I know that must have been very hard. But it sounds like you are having a great time with the aussie. I am looking for an australian shepard cross pup. I would really like to find one mixed with the cattle dog but those seem rare. Let me know if you hear of anything. Ive waited a few years but as soon as we are in the new house (maybe jan.) I will have the time for a pup. Good luck at the Rally.
yer neighbor, johnie
Lyn - 04 Nov 2006 13:46 GMT Hi Johnie, isn't it nice now it's cooler. Almost feel human again. I will keep my ears open regarding a pup for you.
Lyn
DeeTee and Bob Taggart - 03 Nov 2006 15:35 GMT Now get over here and wipe off my monitor! ROFL!!
DeeTee
> Originally in alt.support.cancer.prostate > [quoted text clipped - 43 lines] > ... For Rent: One mind, never used. Ironjustice has vacated. > ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12 Fire Chief - 03 Nov 2006 18:26 GMT DeeTee wrote:
> Now get over here and wipe off my monitor! ROFL!! I've faxed some Handi-wipes to you. They should be arriving any moment.
Look inside your CD drive drawer.
... Cakes: 66 cents Upside Down Cakes: 99 cents
|
|
|