Bozone (n.)  The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas
from penetrating.  The
 bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the
near future.

Cashtration (n.)  The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for  an indefinite period.

Giraffiti (n.)  Vandalism spraying painted very, very high.

Sarchasm (n.)  The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte (v.)  To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis (n.)  Terminal coolness

Osteopornosis (n.)  A degenerate disease

Karmageddon (n.)  It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right?  And then, like, the earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.)  The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only
things that are good
for you.

Glibido (v.)  All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect (n.)  The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.

Beelzebug (n.)  Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom
at three in the morning
and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.)  The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit
you're eating.

-------Tom Lovett,  Evansville Courier & Press