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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Arthritis / October 2006my sister and bro-in-law/prayers needed and long
i've asked for prayers for them before, but need them again. i want a magic wand in the worst way to fix their world. my sis, age 63, has severe MS. her husband, 71, has lung cancer, diabetes, emphysema (sp?). my sister remains very active in her love: little theater. president of a theater and directing plays at other theaters. she could get around in a specialized van that accomodated her scooter. over the weekend, she was driving with her husband and on a hill (going down), could not get the necessary strength in her leg to press the brake. she took the turn at the bottom of the hill at 30 MPH. they hit a guard rail and drove across the road and 50 feet through the woods. thank god, no other cars were on the road at the time and they miraculously missed any trees . my bro-in-law managed to get to the cell phone in my sister's scooter basket--if my sis had been alone, it's very likely she'd still be there in the woods. anyhow, the upshot is my bro-in-law was uninjured, my sister has severe lower back pain but no breaks, but the worst part is that she won't be able to drive any longer, at least not with her feet. the van is being looked over and hopefully is not totalled. it can be adapted so she can use her arms, but even that will be a stopgap measure as she'll gradually lose ability in her arms as well. meanwhile, she has no way to get to the theaters, store or anywhere unless someone will take her in a wheel chair (and push her as well), which is now beyond her husband's ability. it's just a crummy situation and i'm feeling helpless being so far away. i just hate what's happening in their lives. diane Boy, you said it. That IS a crummy situation. They're in my prayers, but it sounds like they need a small miracle. Ginnie >^..^< sigh . . . i can't imagine myself being in their situation without me being really angry about it all. they're so heroic. my heart goes out to both of them. and i wish i could give you the magic wand you want, diane. all of you have my prayers. lovingly, kate i've asked for prayers for them before, but need them again. i want a magic wand in the worst way to fix their world. my sis, age 63, has severe MS. her husband, 71, has lung cancer, diabetes, emphysema (sp?). my sister remains very active in her love: little theater. president of a theater and directing plays at other theaters. she could get around in a specialized van that accomodated her scooter. over the weekend, she was driving with her husband and on a hill (going down), could not get the necessary strength in her leg to press the brake. she took the turn at the bottom of the hill at 30 MPH. they hit a guard rail and drove across the road and 50 feet through the woods. thank god, no other cars were on the road at the time and they miraculously missed any trees . my bro-in-law managed to get to the cell phone in my sister's scooter basket--if my sis had been alone, it's very likely she'd still be there in the woods. anyhow, the upshot is my bro-in-law was uninjured, my sister has severe lower back pain but no breaks, but the worst part is that she won't be able to drive any longer, at least not with her feet. the van is being looked over and hopefully is not totalled. it can be adapted so she can use her arms, but even that will be a stopgap measure as she'll gradually lose ability in her arms as well. meanwhile, she has no way to get to the theaters, store or anywhere unless someone will take her in a wheel chair (and push her as well), which is now beyond her husband's ability. it's just a crummy situation and i'm feeling helpless being so far away. i just hate what's happening in their lives. diane (((((diane))))) (((((sis and husband))))) Yes! you can add my prayers, Vickie B. (((((((((((((((sister, BIL & Diane)))))))))))))))))))) adding my prayers to the many others. It is so hard to live through and so hard to watch this happening to someone you love. What kind of public transit services are available in her area? Might there be something for the elderly and/or disabled that would get her places for a small fee? It's simply marvelous that she's finding ways to enjoy life for as long as possible and I hope and pray she will be able to continue doing do. Nann This is so tough Diane. Don't even want to think what would happen in this situation to me. Here we have a handi-dart system which is part of the bus system which you can book (at $2.00 a ride I think it is) that takes you where you need to go whether in a wheelchair or if you have limited walking ability. Is there anything like that where they live? Prayers going out. What a helpless situation - I agree. Kelly > i've asked for prayers for them before, but need them again. i want a > magic wand in the worst way to fix their world. [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > > diane they do have some kind of transportation system for wheelchair users, but not for scooter users. she'd need someone to push the wheelchair when she got to her destination. i just spoke to her and she's pretty down. in a lot of pain, which we all know doesn't help. she's missing rehearsals which is so upsetting to her, but although someone could drive her there, she's in too much pain to sit. and her DH is being a #$@&, which he can be at times. not abusive, just pissy. thanks for all the kind thoughts and prayers. they're needed. diane Diane, I might have a couple of suggestions. That is all they are, suggestions. First, this is what we did with my dad that helped some when he couldn't drive. First - is there any way they might think of being in a retirement center where they offer transportation at least to the doctors and to some activities? also, my dad had a Jazzy which is an electric wheelchair and could go on the handicapped van when they went out. He only had it a year and it was like brand new. We haven't been able to sell it yet, so it is for sell - not trying to push it on you. As far as getting her to the plays I don't have a good idea about that. I wish I did. It is so hard when they get older and I'm getting there fast it seems. I turned 52 in May. I will keep her and her husband in my thoughts. debbie m. > i've asked for prayers for them before, but need them again. i want a > magic wand in the worst way to fix their world. [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > > diane thanks for those ideas, debbie. it might be good for her to look into getting an electric wheelchair. as for a retirement community, i don't know. i think my sister's afraid to sell her house because the equity would no longer be protected should she ever need medicaid. right now, i don't think she can think much about the future--just trying to get through the day. but i really appreciate your thoughts. it's so strange. my parents lived to 88 and 90 with fairly good health. grandmothers both 95, grandfathers not far behind. my sibs and i are a mess, my sister being the worst off with the ms. we just can't figure out how this happened. maybe the water in NJ? diane thanks for those ideas, debbie. it might be good for her to look into getting an electric wheelchair. as for a retirement community, i don't know. i think my sister's afraid to sell her house because the equity would no longer be protected should she ever need medicaid. right now, i don't think she can think much about the future--just trying to get through the day. but i really appreciate your thoughts. it's so strange. my parents lived to 88 and 90 with fairly good health. grandmothers both 95, grandfathers not far behind. my sibs and i are a mess, my sister being the worst off with the ms. we just can't figure out how this happened. maybe the water in NJ? diane sigh . . . it's the spin of the genetic wheel of fortune, it seems. regressive genes turn up eventually, even after skipping generations. sometimes, i wonder if acquired viruses are the triggers for some of these genetic diseases. goofy idea---is there a patient advocacy group/agency near your sister? maybe at a hospital near where she lives or through a local ms chapter? or maybe even through her medical insurance? or the nearby senior center? or county services? the reason i ask is because there are times when patients are so overwhelmed by the daily stresses of their diseases, and the non-medical complications of their diseases, that they really cannot think or function well in their own behalf. it's virtually impossible for them to think beyond the immediate. maybe a patient advocate or social worker can sit down and help her determine how to best work things out and help her execute an agreed upon plan of attack to resolve issues and cope? sigh . . . kate > thanks for those ideas, debbie. it might be good for her to look into > getting an electric wheelchair. as for a retirement community, i don't > know. i think my sister's afraid to sell her house because the equity > would no longer be protected should she ever need medicaid. I don't know many details (yet!) about this, but I do know that some retirement communites have different levels of housing and at some you buy a house/townhouse/apartment. Would it be possible that if they sold their current house and invested the money into buying a place at one of these retirement communities with different levels, that would once again protect the equity? I think I said that very awkwardly, but maybe my point got through! I know that's how it is at many retirement communities in my hometown - you actually buy your living place there so you don't lose the money you have invested in your current home. > it's so strange. my parents lived to 88 and 90 with fairly good health. > grandmothers both 95, grandfathers not far behind. my sibs and i are a > mess, my sister being the worst off with the ms. we just can't figure > out how this happened. maybe the water in NJ? we are kinda like that in my family - one grandfather died in "young" old age (70s, I believe - it was before I was born), others lived into their late 80s/early 90s. When arthritis first roared up on me, that was actually one of my fears - that I'd be living 55+ years in the kind of pain I had that first year. Anyway, my sibs and I all have chronic health issues. We're fighting them and aren't as ill as your sister by any means, but I just don't know if we'll have the longevity of our grands. That mild auto-immune strain each side of the family has combined poorly when my parents got together. They were a good match overall, though. ;-)  SignatureNann remove the Gator cheer to email me Simply the thing I am shall make me live --- William Shakespeare yes, nann, they had recently put money down on one of the retirement communities that was being built. they were very excited about it--it was special for some reason i don't remember. anyhow, the place couldn't get the zoning clearance, so it fell through. my sis and her husband were not thrilled with the other options in their area, but perhaps this event will spur them to look harder--though i don't know how my sister will get out to do any looking. i spoke with her the other day about contacting the elder care manager who was so helpful when my parents needed help. she hadn't thought of that and is going to call her. that is a wonderful resource--there's a national website with certified elder care managers on the web (someplace. . . ). it was a lifesaver when my parents were failing. diane Diane, we have a service here they call the "Transvan" and it's managed by the state dept. of elderly affairs although it's also available for the disabled. It's a small 12 passenger wheelchair bus used to transport people from home to doctor, therapy etc appts. and also for grocery shopping. The driver and an aide assist people as needed. You do have to make an appt in advance to ride it and there is no fixed price. They ask for a donation of one or two dollars. Maybe they could check elderly affairs in their city and see what is available there. My neighbor uses it right now to take her to the hospital for daily radiation treatments and is very happy with it instead of driving herself or asking others for a ride every day. Ann Diane I found the following on the state.nj.us website: New Jersey County Paratransit Each of the 21 counties in New Jersey provide community-based transportation services to meet the various needs of seniors, people with disabilities, and in some cases, the general public, rural residents and/or Work First participants. NJ TRANSIT assists the counties as well as private non-profit organizations and municipalities in the provision of these accessible services through the administration of various Federal and State grant programs including the Casino Revenue Fund, the Senior Citizens and Disabled Residents Transportation Assistance Program, the Federal Transportation Administration (FTA) 5307, 5310, 5311 and Jobs Access and Reverse Commute Programs. Please call the numbers on the following list for specific transportation information and service guidelines in your county. Visit Council on Special Transportation (C.O.S.T.) at www.njcost.com County Paratransit Information Atlantic County Transportation (609) 645-5910 Bergen County Transportation www.ridetheshuttle.com (201) 646-3227 Burlington County Transportation (609) 265-5109 Camden Sen-Han Transit (856) 456-3344 Cape May Fare Free Transportation (609) 889-3700 Cumberland Area Transit System (856) 691-7799 Essex County Office on Aging (973) 678-1300 Gloucester County Special Transportation (856) 307-4845 (856) 848-6616 (TT) Hudson County TRANSCEND (201) 271-4307 Hunterdon County, The Link www.co.hunterdon.nj.us (800) 842-0531 (Voice & TT) Mercer T.R.A.D.E www.mercercounty.org (609) 530-1971/72/73/74 (Voice & TT) (609) 275-2929 (Princeton Area only) Middlesex County Transportation, AWTS www.co.middlesex.nj.us (800) 221-3520 Monmouth County SCAT www.visitmonmouth.com (732) 431-6480 (Voice & TT) Morris County (973) 366-9378 Ocean County OceanRide www.co.ocean.nj.us (877) 929-2082 (732) 736-8989 Passaic County Paratransit (excluding Paterson, Clifton, West Milford and city of Passaic) (973) 305-5756/57/58 Paterson (973) 881-0058 Clifton (973) 470-2235 West Milford (973) 728-2863 Passaic (973) 365-5754 Salem County Transportation (856) 339-8622 Somerset County Transportation www.co.somerset.nj.us (908) 231-7115 (908) 231-7116 (TT) Sussex County Transportation (973) 579-0480 Union County Transportation (908) 241-8300 Warren County Transportation www.intelitran.com (908) 454-4044 I hope this helps Angela > Diane, we have a service here they call the "Transvan" and it's managed > by the state dept. of elderly affairs although it's also available for > the disabled. It's required by ADA for disabled. Many jurisdictions offer it to all seniors also as a means of recovering costs of operation. Locally, the Red Cross operated transportation under contract with the county until it was caught in an "ENRON" type scandel - "cooking" the books with false information. However it was "disabled-only" and those who wanted to participate had to apply, with letters from doctors attesting to their disability and inability to use other public transportation - bus routes and the trolley. ... Jesus was born in a manger because Joseph belonged to an HMO. Prayers on the way for all. Do they have any children? Are they still in VA with you now in NC? My mother has Home Instead once a week now to drive her and do laundry and groceries and that is making her life more comfortable. Duckie > i've asked for prayers for them before, but need them again. i want a > magic wand in the worst way to fix their world. [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > > diane What a sad situation, Diane. I will pray that there is some assistance for them so that they can continue to do the things they love. Rose @}>->-- Being educated means that rather than fearing the unknown, one seeks to understand it. RB Please remove "Ima" to reply. Diane, offering my prayers also...I know that it seems like you do need a miracle...maybe one will come along... Hugs Cindy > i've asked for prayers for them before, but need them again. i want a > magic wand in the worst way to fix their world. [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > > diane Prayers on the way, Diane. I'm praying that God will provide a way for her to get to the places she needs to go, and to push her wheelchair if needed. Gwen > i've asked for prayers for them before, but need them again. i want a > magic wand in the worst way to fix their world. [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > > diane > i've asked for prayers for them before, but need them again. You know you have them - the ASA prayer wheel never stops. > my sis, age 63, has severe MS. her husband, 71, has lung cancer, You may have mentioned before, but where are they? Different states, different counties, different communities all have varying agenciesand programs to help/assist. > meanwhile, she has no way to get to the theaters, store or > anywhere unless someone will take her in a wheel chair > (and push her as well), Is this a temporary condition (not being able to maneuver a wheelchair by herself) resulting from the accident. It it's permanent, caused by the MS, isn't she eligible for a motorized wheelchair? ... Paper or Plastic? Who cares! I'm BI-SACKS-UAL! Diane- Thank you for letting us know of the need for prayers. I'm grateful to be able to help in this way. Janet they are in NJ, chief. she is starting to look into resources. not being able to use a wheelchair is because of the MS, and yes, she probably is eligible for a motorized wheelchair, although she already has two scooters. she just didn't realize she'd need one. she took a special cab to the doctors yesterday. it took two people to get her into the cab and two people to get her out. her husband then had to push the non motorized wheelchair from the lot to the doctor's office, and since he has lung cancer and emphysema, he had to keep stopping. it's just a horrid situation. she told me it's made her realize how bad off she is. with the scooter and van, she'd been able to be so independent. i know her, though, and she will muster her resources and figure out what to do. my brother, who lives an hour away, will see them this weekend and assess the situation. thanks, all for the prayers and concerns. diane |
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