>If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may
>bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the
>days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and
>clever not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now. Peter Marshall was
>the host asking the questions, of course.

>Q. Do female frogs croak?

>A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

>Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you
>be?

>A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

>Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

>A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

>Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
>woman?

>A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

>Q. According to Cosmopolitain, if you meet a stranger at a party and you
>think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's
>married?

>A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.

>Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

>A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

>Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?

>A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

>Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?

>A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

>Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands
>while talking?

>A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll

>you a gesture you' ll  never forget.

>Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

>A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

>Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries.   Are you going to

>any during the first year?

>A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

>Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

>A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

>Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
>One is politics, what is the other?

>A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

>Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

>A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

>Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

>A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

>Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose
>do?

>A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

>Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

>A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

>Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the

>habit of kissing a lot of people?

>A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

>Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?

>A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

>Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
>what was he trying to do?

>A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

>Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
>elephant?

>A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

>Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

>A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

>Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and

>actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

>A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

>Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in

>A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.