While looking for Larry's opinion on Noni juice for
Bruce, I tripped over this. Boy that still makes me laugh.
For the newbies: Larry was the resident bartender in
our sandbox. He finally lost his battle with arthritis
in April of 2003. He was well loved and hugely missed.
And he had a real way with words. rofl
Duckie

ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ

From: "bbaylarry"
Subject: OTP:  Another Sad Story.
Date: Thursday, June 13, 2002 4:37 PM

From today's e-mail bag.

 Dear Reader,

 My name is Billy Evans.  I am a very sick little
 boy.  My mother is typing this for me, because I
 can't.  She is crying.  The reason she is so sad is
 because I'm so sick.  I was born without a body.  It
 doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe.

 The doctors gave me an artificial body.  It is a
 burlap bag filled with leaves.  The doctors said
 that was the best they could do on account of us
 having no money or insurance.  I would like to have
 a body transplant, but we need more money.  Mommy
 doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying
 people.  I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged
 my burlap bag.

 Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's
 allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and
 chafes her real bad.  I hope you will help me.  You
 can help me if you forward this e-mail to everyone
 you know.  Forward it to people you don't know, too.

 Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward
 this email to, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and
 send a nickel to NASA.  With that funding, NASA will
 collect prayers from school children all over America
 and have the astronauts take them up into space so that
 the angels can hear them better.

 Then they will come back to earth and go to the
 Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and
 send all the money to the doctors.  The doctors
 could help me get better then.  Maybe one day I will
 be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be
 third base.

 Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts
 can take more prayers to the angels and my dream
 will be closer to coming true.

 Please help me!  Mommy is so sad, and I want a body.
 I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10!

 If you don't forward this email, that's okay.  Mommy
 says you're a mean and heartless bastard who doesn't
 care about a poor little boy with only a head.

 She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of
 your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a
 long slow, horrible death and then burn forever in
 hell.  What kind of cruel person are you that you
 can't take five freakin' minutes to forward this to
 all your friends so that they can feel guilt and
 shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old
 boy?

 Please help me.  I try to be happy, but it's hard.

 I wish I had a kitty.  I wish I could hold a kitty.
 I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on me
 and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap
 body. I wish that very much.

 Thank You, Billy "Smiles" Evans

 P.S. You can send the money directly to the person who
 sent you this because that person is very trustworthy :)

And we thought we had it rough.  Maybe we could get him a
Noni skin or an Emu hide body.  Maybe we could trap a few
Nauga's and use their hides.

Be well,
Larry