Hi Kiki,

Welcome.  I wouldn't say we are "stronger" per se, just used to it.
Believe it or not, you can get used to pain (and it sucks).

Is your specialist a rheumatologist?  Do you know what type of
arthritis you have (or is that why you are seeing the spec)?  I have
found (for myself) that heat helps the pain (I use a heating pad a
LOT).  I've got RA so the cold sets it off for me.  Others alternate
heat and ice.

Do you work?  Is it possible to have an heating pad there?  My old job
allowed me to do that, but I understand that is a bit unusual.

As for ideation, we've been there.  I think it may be safe to say that
nearly everyone has thought about ending it when things get to a
breaking point.  It is such a permanent solution though (and I figure
with my luck, I'd just end up with severe brain damage and enough left
to remember how I used to be).

Hang in there.  Once diagnosed and properly treated, you'll see that
things aren't quite so bad (well, they'll still seem bad, but you get
the idea).

Smokie Darling (Annie)

Kiki
HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!
Find a doctor who will manage your pain.  This doctor does not have to treat
your arthritic disease.
I use 1 doctor for my lupus and another doctor for pain managment.  Many
people don't know that you can use different doctors.
I also quit using a rheumatologist.  All but the one that diagnosed me, was
HORRIBLE!  Now my family physician, prescribes my meds.
There's a lot of autoimmune disease here and he knows his stuff.
Deployments are hard.  My hubby got out of the Army (13 yrs total) cuz of
the hardship of me being sick and our 2 kids.  It was easier when the kids
were small cuz we could just stay home but once they got involved in sports,
school... I couldn't always be there.

Have you checked to see if there's an arthritis program in your area?  Maybe
you could meet people there.
Of course, you can always vent here.  We understand!
I hope you feel better soon and get proper treatment.... it's hard
w/Tricare.
Where are you stationed?  Could your hubby come home due to family hardship?
Stop loss and other things factor in but maybe..... HUGS again... if you
ever want to chat online... I use yahoo and the name is crimsonshedemom (red
hair and bitchy at times so my hubby says LOL)
Nicole

kiki,
it's very hard and frustrating to get treatment straightened out.
please hang in there! we've all had that helpless feeling, and i
understand yours is complicated by your situation. it must be
incredibly hard  to have your husband overseas and your family far
away. your pain sounds miserable and reminds me of the old days when i
felt as though i would never ever feel good again. you will, sweetie.
but it's probably going to take some time.

please consider speaking to someone. i have no experience with the
military, but i am sure there are counselors available to you to talk
about your feelings. do you know how to reach one? i also think your
doctor should know how this pain is affecting you. maybe he or she can
then get you in to see the specialist more quickly. you will really
have to advocate for yourself. meanshile, you need to tell us how
seriously you're thinking of suicide. i'm worried about you.

diane

I have had almost unbearable pain in my left hip area, traveling down the
back of my thigh.  It is due to spinal stenosis.  I have also had terrible
pain on my Ischial tuberosity, my "sitting down" bone.  I went to physical
therapy and learned some exercises that help.  I also started a walking
program that seems to help.  After one mile the pain subsides.  I was also
on neurontin for a while but that didn't help much.  My physical therapist
told me that for sciatic pain and the Ischial tuberosity pain heat is the
wrong thing to apply.  It just increases the swelling of the nerves and the
tissue around the nerves.  So I started using ice packs instead. I got mine
at CVS pharmacy.  It is a kind of gel in a plastic that is inside of a
fabric.  That really does help.  But, what helped most of all?  My GP and
my rheumatoligist decided to try me on Lyrica.  It is usally given for
people with shingles or other never pain.  Wow.  It has really helped me a
lot.  No, the pain is not completely eliminated but it has helped a great
deal.  It has taken that edge off. You know, the sharp pain that makes you
want to do anything to make it stop.  My point in all of this is that there
are options to pursue.  You have to be the one who insists on help.  You
have to make it known that you are in a great deal of pain and you want it
to stop.  Physicians are being trained to be more sensitive to people who
complain of pain but it is our responsibility to make sure that they know
emphatically that it is hurting and they need to do something about it.  
Please remember that you have many options yet to pursue.  

((((((((((((((((((KiKi)))))))))

I've read the post and they have given good advice.  What Diane said
about being your advocate is so true.  You need to tell you doc that
you are in unbearable pain and let him know you are to the point of
suicide. (been there)

If he won't help you try a pain management doc or another doctor.  Keep
trying until they will help you.  I think with most of us it takes time
to find the right combination of meds to make our life bearable.

Is there a reason you stopped Ultram/Ultracett?  I've used this before
and it helped me.  Bob gave good advice about trying another med for
the nerve pain.  Sometimes we have to try several before we can get the
right one for us.

I also went to counseling for my pain and for the loss of my former
life.  It is a process of grieving for what is lost.  However, I've
found new things that I can do that I wouldn't have before.  I write
and am a photograper now.

An antidepressant might help with the depression/sucidial feelings/ and
the pain.  I have taken one for years and will continue to do so as
long as I live.

A support group would be good too.  One for arthritis or one for
depression.  I hope you find something soon that will make you feel
even a little better and like there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Come here and vent any time.

debbie m.