Jason,

There are several things that come to mind;   First of all if you really
hate it where you are so much, you could try and make the move right now,
while your mother is not so ill that it would require such drastic measures
as an air ambulance.

Many people have taken their loved ones on a plane with them, but they
cannot be left alone for a single second, and it takes some care and
preparation.   I would advise all three of you flying together so that your
wife and you could 'spell' one another looking after your mom, (in case
someone had to use the rest room), so she would not have an opportunity to
wander off.    It is very important, since watching a person who has any
kind of dementia is a full time job and one person accompanying her isn't
enough.    The bit about wandering off actually happened, by the way, and
the lost person was never found.

The second thing is that it is hard for an alzheimer patient to adjust to
new circumstances, new routines, new living conditions.   So, you might be
best off making the move sooner, rather than later on, if you are thinking
about what is best for her.

If you absolutely cannot leave at this time and there is no way to make your
move sooner, I leave you with this old zen story;

There was a family traveling on foot, to a city along a road, carrying all
they owned.   They came upon an old zen monk who sat by the roadside.   The
family asked the old monk what the people were like in the city they were
approaching.   He replied with a question, asking them in return, what the
people were like where they just left.  The family almost all began to speak
at once... saying that they were so wonderful they hated to leave, that
everyone was so kind and so good, and they missed them all already... The
monk said: "you are going to love it here, the people are the same way".

A day or so later another family, also approaching this same city, came upon
the same old monk, and they asked him "what are the people like in this
city?"   He in turn asked them what the people were like where they just
left.   The family said "they were awful, mean spirited people, who told
lies and were all out for themselves and we just couldn't wait to leave
them"   The monk nodded knowingly and said he understood and that he was
sorry to report that the people in this city were the same way.