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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Alzheimer's / June 20042nd post
Hi everyone, This is my second post. I am currently caring for my grandmother. She will be 85 in August. Today we went to the store, to pick up a few things. She got so upset with me. We were buying batteries and when I asked her what size she needed, she got angry. I have noticed lately it's better not to ask questions or give her choices. She can't handle it. If I ask her if she would like a burger or sandwich she says; "Whatever you want!" or "You pick what you think I might like!". She gets very flustered! Then if I pick for her it's always the wrong thing! Anyway, I know she is angry at her illness and not me. However, I tend to take things personally. I need to lighten up! HELP!!!!! Thanks for listening! I really need this group. The good thing is she is still able to dress, feed and use the bathroom herself. ((((HUGS)))) turtle Turtle, I hear ya!!!!! My mom is verrrrry orney and negative.She tells me to get her a drink.I say"Mom you are able to get your own and its good excersize for you.She gets furious and says she will never ask again.No matter how i respond to her ?'s she's mad.She calls me names,tells me why don't i act like a lady,calls me a liar,etc.It's not easy but it's not her talking.You need to just remember your mom is not there.I will be thinking of you,Barb If I call you a fool, Doesn't mean your a fool It Only means I'm a person with a need to Judge! This aspect of alzheimers is so cruel and hard on the care takers. No matter what you do, you are dammed. If you decide for them, they can get made because you treat them like a baby. If you don't decide for them, they can't and get mad anyway. For the last 2 years of my father's life, we would only go out to eat a Denny's. He had the same waffle no matter what time of day or night it was. It was stuck in his mind. Just keep telling yourself: It is the disease, It is the dissease IT IS the disease! Keep coming here... vent, talk, release. Many of us are here because we had followed alzheimers to the end and know what you are going through. Some have just found alt.suppport.alzheimers. Lurk, post, learn. We are glad you are here. We are sorry you have to be here. - Mike, Friendswood, Texas. > Turtle, > I hear ya!!!!! My mom is verrrrry orney and negative.She tells me to [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > It Only means > I'm a person with a need to Judge! > Turtle, > I hear ya!!!!! My mom is verrrrry orney and negative.She tells me to [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > It Only means > I'm a person with a need to Judge! I am new here also, and your post struck me as deja vu. My father can be insulting though in such a subtle way I almost find it humorous. He would never "normally" insult me, he's such a sweet, laid back kinda guy, but with his Alz, he's a lot more aggressive and possibly more honest, as he's forgotten how to shmooze. Anyway, my father is 1/2 Filipino, and he's very proud of it now, he wasn't in his youth, predgudice was more common in his younger years, but now many of the care providers weather it be doctors, nurses, aids etc are from the island. My father loves it. Anyway my sister looks more Filo and I look more German (like my mother) and I dye my hair blonde, my sister has black hair and it's courser then mine. Anyway, when he introduces me to the Filo care providers he always says, "this is my youngest, that's not her real hair color that came from a bottle." It's never said tongue and cheek, but the care provider and I usually will make a joke about it. Though sometimes it sort of hurts, cuz I am his baby and I do worship the ground he walks on, and I just want him to be proud of me and accept me the way I am. I know he loves me and I know he doesn't mean anything by it, but I tend to take some of his snide remarks a little personal. Oh well I have wonderful loving memories of before. Jane Jane, I have no problem with taking my moms remarks personally,but they do get on my nerves.Maybe thats taking them personally.I guess how i feel is I sometimes want to tell her to shut up.No answer for her is the right one.I can tell her its summer and she will call me a liar cause its a little chilly that day.I have to turn all lights off when she goes to bed-9pm- cause the people down stairs are complaining.Its our basement.If i am on the phone she's telling me to quit gossiping.And she too was a sweet laid back lady.This is harder than any job out there.Barb If I call you a fool, Doesn't mean your a fool It Only means I'm a person with a need to Judge! |
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