I can so relate, Evelyn.  My mom's unit has the same things, daytime, nightime,
late afternoon - doesn't seem much to matter on what time of day.  It was hard to
get used to, but we're now going on a year and it no longer surprises or frightens
me.  I am used to having others wander into my mom's room when I am visiting,
going through her drawers, or mumbing to me.  Some just want hugs.  I listen, I
talk, figure that's all they really want ... is someone to care a bit, even if
only for a short period of time.  Mom's roommate reminds me of what you have
noticed with your mom's roommate.  She is very loud and appears to be grumpy all
the time.  When my brother was in with me, this woman constantly yelled at him to
turn her light off.  I finally asked the unit director about her, was told that
she had very limited vision and hearing ... guess she didn't even know she was
yelling. <G>  And my mom is so accustomed to it now that she swears she doesn't
even have a roommate, and is always surprised when we mention that she does.  

Give yourself a bit more time to adapt to the new surroundings.  While you don't
ever quite truly enjoy going there, I tend to always find some humor ...
somewhere.  Such as the day mom complained about not getting her desert, only to
learn that she had eaten 2 or 3 of them. <G>  It's always sad, but somehow the
humor helps my family through the icky stuff.

Joyce

My Dad was like this with his Mom.  This was about 10 years ago and
sundowning seemed to be on the go no matter what time we showed up.  I
don't know if it was a function of medication or my naïvety
surrounding dementia.  Anyways, he was always uncomfortable and if my
Grandmother was out of her room, the visit would be short.  As the
diseased progressed, she stayed in her room more and more, however,
she also became more vegetative.  Nice Catch-22.

Other than the sundowning, it sounds as though you've rediscovered
your freedom.  Enjoy!

Darryl.

Hi Evelyn:

Welcome to my world.
One bit of advice, maybe you don't want to go in the evening, especially if
it bothers your husband.
If you can go in the afternoons it would be a little more pleasant.
I  am happy to hear Ida is doing so well, it makes your visits so much
easier.

Take care,
Dianne

 (snipped)

 
Hi Evelyn, I am so glad to hear that you got Ida to a beautiful new
home , and that she is adapting so well so early on. You and Peter
certainly deserve the rest. The NH my mom was in was one of the best
in the whole state- as you might recall from my posts a couple years
ago, it had won a Govenor's Quality Care award. There were certainly
episodes of sundowning but I visited often after my work day, around
6:30 usually during the week- and really, I never saw that much
agitation going on so constantly.
  Oh sure, there were always people who would wander into my mom's
room- and wander out- and there were others who might stop you to grab
at a hand or try to talk to you when you were in the halls- but maybe
I just got used to it quickly or something! I made it a point to try
and learn the other residents names as much as I could- so I could
greet them and offer assistance whenever necessary.( I also would help
the staff by gently aiding them back to the dementia wing if they were
wandering around in other parts of the NH- there were really only 2
women who would manage to figure out the unusual route out of there-
the doors weren't locked per se as far as the separation of the
dementia wing from the rest of the home)
   I do remember when my mom first arrived at the dementia wing of
the NH, my older brother mentioned that he got "a little scared" when
one of the other residents followed him down the hall as he was
leaving and haranged (sp?) him about where he was going in a loud
voice..so I guess we all react differently to the strangness of a
dementia wing.
  I wonder if the NH philsophy of trying to keep people on such
minimal doses of meds-in order to avoid falls- is contributing to the
whirlwind of sundowning. Not that the peole in my mom's NH were so
drugged up, by any means- but I do think they must have used some to
help keep them more comfortable. I do know that the NH's must meet
certain guidelines as the actual percentage of  their residents  being
"chemically restrained".
I think my mom's nursing home tried very hard to create an environment
that didn't add to the agitaion and confusion of their residents- and
had a staff highly trained in AD, so they , too, were aware of how to
manage the residents without adding to their agitation.
  I just know that the very first dementia wing I ever looked at, way
back in '97 was very different-( I was looking into assisted living
for my mom then- and on the tour of the facility, which had all levels
of care, I was shown their AD wing-) and it was like looking at
someone's nightmare - in the middle of the day! The residents showed a
lot of agitation, and seemed to be just wandering the halls aimlessly,
so confused and unhappy looking. It was such a different atmosphere at
the NH where my mom passed away in '02... but then, I'm sure time had
changed how AD residents were managed also.
  I'm sure that you and Peter will get the hang of visiting the AD
ward soon enough- look how stellar you were during the yrs. you
managed Ida at home! I know what you mean about the need for routine
and structure- and that's just one of the things that the homes can do
better than we can in a home environment. Not to mention the
activitites, geared just for their abilities, that they have
throughtout the day to  keep them involved and social- that are hard
to provide at home.
 The fact that Ida is eating quite well should be your first clue
that she is doing just fine in her new home. Maybe she just thinks
with all the people around, that she is at one of those parties she's
enjoyed at the past! Can't wait until they have a New Year's
celebration at the NH next year! :o)
  As far as the staff sewing on the nametags, it's great they have
offered, but I'm guessing it's probably best for you to take on that
task yourself..the staff seems to have eough to do at all times, that
those kind of things will be low on the list of priorities. I also
found oral care was low on thir list, too, BTW. I know that some of
the residents would not cooperate much with that-but I suspect that
the staff are also not very adept at the actual procedures
anyway-hence it was more uncomfortable than it needed to be with them.
My mom was always good with me as far as allowing brushing and
flossing- but not so with staff members.. so I always did those things
for her whenever I visited.
 (This seems like a good time to let you all know that there has been
research done that says NH residents have a  much higher incidence of
pnemonias if they have moderate-severe gum disease --and that
diabetics have less well-controlled blood sugars as well, when gum
disease is present. Also, there's the potential for very uncomfortable
fungal infections like thrush that poor hygiene can lead to, also.  In
addition, there are links to increased incidence of heart attacks and
strokes, in people with periodontal ("gum") problems. The chronic
infection in the mouth can affect our systemic health in ways we never
imagined just 10 years ago. Thank- you, the dental hygienist exits her
soapbox now...)
 I hope you and Peter continue to enjoy your new- found freedom and
relaxation- and can now time to focus on each other again, instead of
Ida being the center of your lives 24 hrs. a day! You and Peter have
every right to breathe a sigh of relief! Warm regards , Lynn

PS. Never meant at all, in my previous post to you, that Ida shouldn't
be on the Respiradol because of diabetes concerned- just wanted to
bring it up, for others who are caring for their LO's on the same
family of drugs, to be watchful for that development. My mom was on
Zyprexa, same drug family- and it was the only thing that kept her
half-way comfortable as the disease progressed.

Hi Evelyn,

So glad Ida is settling in OK.

You will get used to the weird behaviours, they can happen any time of the
day but it is so unpredictable. Some have the behaviours all day long. They
are all unique in their own way and I love working with them. We have some
really funny conversations in the Nursing home (Aged Care Facility as they
call them here) and usually just go with the flow and chat away. One lady
speaks the whole time referring to herself in the third person.. took a bit
of getting used to but we can get so much information from her in this way,
which enables us to help her more.

Yesterday was hilarious, we were all busily showering people and all of a
sudden we heard
"NURSE, can you come here" from a male resident,
followed by the response "I'll be there in a moment when I've finished
here",
followed once again by "NURSE, can you come here NOW!!!"

We all went running only to find this poor man who had been calling,
outraged because a female resident had wandered in and hopped in his bed!

Anyway, the best way to deal with it is to expect the unexpected, and keep a
sense of humour :-)

Regards,
Jennifer

Evelyn, your description reminds me of a scene in the film, 'Awakenings,'
based on the book by Dr. Oliver Sachs. - there's a scene where all the
patients of a psychiatric ward, people who've been virtually catatonic for
years as a result of an encephalitis epidemic are given an experimental
treatment, and a few hours later they all 'come to life.' (The film is
moving, btw - but the book is utterly fascinating.)

As to seeing people in later stage dementia, someone here mentioned recently
a support group (in-person, not online) specifically for caregivers for LOs
in early-stages AD. I think that's a very good idea - the LOs of the people
at the local AD support group meeting are all considerably more advanced
than my father's dementia, and I think if I had not been reading this group
as well as researching elsewhere, it would have been enormously disturbing
to listen to people describing  their caregiving for much more advanced
persons - an elderly woman talking about having to tie her husband's hands
to his wheelchair to keep him from wrestling with her, cheerfully showing
the bruises to her arms from the struggle; others talking matter-of-factly
about a spouse or parent who can no longer speak coherently.

--
Robert