Hi everybody,
It was very good to hear so many say I should remain.
We have all been through a special kind of life-journey here, and it is true
that we are a family of sorts. I am just hoping I don't offend anyone here
with these tales of later stage issues. Please be aware that it is not
intentional if anyone is offended.
We just left Ida a few minutes ago. She is doing so much better in the
wheel chair than in the merry walker. She looks much more alert and
relaxed at the same time. She had a sort of "frazzled" look in the walker.
She was just eating her dinner when we arrived.
Hubby and I went to bring her clean clothes in and to pick up the laundry
since we are doing it ourselves. She asked him if he had eaten. He said
"no. but we are going to go and eat now"... she replied "Okay, I am eating
now too, then we will go....." He said he would see her later, and we
left.
She really, really wants to go home. I thought we were done with her
wanting to go home all the time, but I guess we are not.
There is one person there (who was formerly in the daycare center) and this
woman paces continuously. She is very thin and she just paces and paces
and paces. She also has a habit of grabbing at everyone who comes into the
unit. It is a bit unnerving and hard to deal with.
I recalled that at one point she had been grabbing at Ida perhaps a year or
two ago, and one gentleman protected Ida from her. Now they are in the
same alzheimer unit in the same nursing home.

Signature
Regards,
Evelyn
(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox")
Mary Gordon - 07 May 2004 16:28 GMT
There was a woman on my MILs AD unit who also was a pacer. I'm not
sure what kind of dementia she has - she had a very blank face, so I
suspect maybe some sort of Parkinson's - she also would freeze every
now and then (i.e. get into a corner of the hallway and just get
"stuck"). She was very unnerving, since she was just like a silent
ghost with her very frozen face, pacing up and down and up and down.
She'd come up behind you and scare the heck out of you. She'd also
grab you - i.e. come up behind you silently and take hold of your arm
or wrist.
She had to wear special custom made sandals, and they had to put her
in a geri-chair for part of every day just to stop her (this changed
my opinion of restraints, since no matter how opposed you are to them,
I don't know what other options staff really had since she really did
need to be forcibly stopped for at least portions of the day or she'd
be at it 16 hours out of 24. She was literally walking her feet off,
plus losing weight from so much endless pacing - she was bone thin and
didn't seem to get hungry or thirsty).
Mary G.
Paul R. Bennett - 09 May 2004 23:32 GMT
Evelyn
Hi.
Let me say that I am glad you decided not to go.
Honestly, from experience, you got a hard time coming.
You will need support and friends.
Believe me, I can understand. Been there, done that
You have made a terribly hard decision, and, yes there is a surge of relief as,
at last, the care of your loved one is out of your hands. And, honestly, in the
skilled hands of those that can provide the level of care necessary.
But there is gonna be guilt coming up that will will have to deal with... been
there, done that... heart aches.
Somehow, Evelyn, Mary, we need to share and reach out to the folks who are only
beginning this terrible long trail.
And, what are friends for?
Paul
turkey in the straw - 10 May 2004 04:15 GMT
My mom is so stuck on having little girls that i have run out of answers
for her.None of which she believes.Am at my wits end on trying to figure
out what answer to give her.Barb
Evelyn Ruut - 10 May 2004 12:23 GMT
> My mom is so stuck on having little girls that i have run out of answers
> for her.None of which she believes.Am at my wits end on trying to figure
> out what answer to give her.Barb
We ran out of answers too. Nothing could bring back the past, but we
thought of some diverting answers. You could say they are at school......
or whatever comes into your mind. She won't remember it anyway. Ida
asked us a thousand times a day where was her little dog Pelli. We told
her over and over again, but she couldn't remember it. There are no magic
answers for this. They just can't remember the answers.

Signature
Regards,
Evelyn
(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox")
Char - 11 May 2004 06:44 GMT
Dear Evelyn,
As others have said, I feel close to you & Ida. I think of you each
day even though I seem to take time out for the computer once a
week---sometimes not even that! Keep us informed about everyone &
everything.
Those of you who have been through so much help prepare the rest of us
who are just starting. By reading your posts, I knew what to do ahead
of time when I recognized a problem John was having. Picking your
fights & loving deceptions are the first two to come to mind.
John seems to have had another startling decine this past weekend.
I'd like to blame it on contractors working on the house, but I know
that would just be an excuse & wishfull thinking. He was doing so
well for so long & then another change.
Always,
Char
> Hi everybody,
>
[quoted text clipped - 27 lines]
> two ago, and one gentleman protected Ida from her. Now they are in the
> same alzheimer unit in the same nursing home.