I've been hanging around this group for a few years, listening and
occasionally asking for advice about my father-in-law.  You all have
been wonderful.  So, I just thought I'd let you know that my FIL died
last week.

As some of you may recall, he has had AD since approximately 1992.  He
was living at home with my MIL as his caregiver, until he fell and
broke his hip a few years ago.  While he was in the hospital
recuperating from surgery, my MIL fell and broke *her* hip, and was
admitted to a different hospital for surgery.  Hospitalization is very
hard on an AD patient, as we all know, and it took many weeks for my
FIL to recover to the level he was at when the injury occurred.  When
he was discharged from the hospital, he was taken directly to a
nursing home that had an Alzheimer's unit.  Not long after that, my
MIL sold their house and moved into an "independent living" unit of
that same facility so she could be near her husband.

My FIL had already undergone many of the changes of mid-stage AD at
that time, and his condition declined further over the next several
years.  I suppose he had reached the mid- to late-stages of AD--still
able to walk and feed himself, still able to respond to questions, and
still aware of his surroundings, but otherwise quite dependent on
others.  We last visited him in February (my husband and I live 800
miles away), and his condition seemed not to have changed.  He was a
bit more restless than usual, wanting to sit in his room and then move
to the TV lounge and then go back to his room, but otherwise was alert
and responsive.

We got a call about 10 days ago that he had fallen and hit his head
while walking down the hall at the AD unit.  He had been taken to the
hospital for observation, but was expected to go back to the AD unit
that evening.  The next day he was still in the hospital, and no one
in the family seemed to know why.  By the third day, my MIL was
becoming quite frustrated because (she said) no one would explain why
her husband still needed to be hospitalized.  She was spending almost
all her time at the hospital, but had not seen a doctor in more than
24 hours.

Late on the following day (a week ago Wednesday), my husband received
a phone message at work notifying him that his father's condition was
"terminal".  This was quite a shock, in an odd sort of way.  I
thought, of course his condition is terminal--he has AD.  No--the
problem was his head injury.  The doctors had done some tests and
determined that he had brain swelling, and they could not control it.
No one knew how much longer he might live--it could be days, or weeks,
or months.

We dashed home, packed a suitcase, and headed west.  Not knowing what
would happen or how long we would be away, we decided we'd better
drive.  While enroute, we kept in contact with family members every
few hours.  Less than two hours from the hospital, we received the
news that he had died.

It's been a very difficult week.  The funeral was this past Monday.
Despite the sadness of losing my FIL, everyone agrees that his future,
had he survived, would only have become more grim because of the
progressive effects of AD.  Of course, my husband and I wish we had
arrived at the hospital a few hours (or days) earlier, even though it
would not have made any difference to my FIL.  We learned later that
he had been kept on very heavy pain medication (morphine) until his
death.  We did not know until two days after his death that my FIL had
suffered a skull fracture in the fall, which had been triggered by a
seizure.  The impact and the fracture were associated with severe
internal bleeding.  When we arrived at the hospital, the family was
still there with his body.  There were dozens of stiches in his
forehead, and both his eyes were black-and-blue (more like purple)
from the bleeding.  The impact had knocked out 3 teeth.

All of this physical trauma was made to disappear by the magic of
mortuary science.  I have never thought funeral homes and embalming
and "visitation" were a good idea until now.  I'm not sure it helped
me, but I'm pretty sure my MIL and other family members who were at
the hospital were comforted to see my FIL's face looking relaxed and
without all the damage.  The funeral home representative was a great
help in coordinating everything and in making sure the memorial
service went smoothly.  My FIL was a World War II veteran, and we
asked for a military honor guard at the cemetery.  It was especially
touching that all the men in the honor guard looked to be around my
FIL's age.

So, maybe this was a blessing.  My FIL (and his family) did not suffer
the long, drawn-out "late stages" of AD for which he was probably
destined.  His body was so strong, it just would not give up.  Others
in his AD unit have progressed more quickly.  Some are bed-bound,
unable to move at all.  Others sleep constantly.  A few wander the
hallways, trapped in a world of loneliness or terror or fury.

My FIL has been asking to go home for years.  I guess, in a way, he
finally got there.

Cindy B.