Dear Char,

So good to see you posting again!   I am sorry to hear that John has
apparently gotten a bit worse.   Some have commented that memantine has
given their loved one just enough additional cognition to make them a bit
more feisty and aware of their own problems again.   It is certainly worth
trying, if you ask me.  You can always stop it if it creates any difficulty.

Ida isn't on it as yet, and she gets better days and worse days.   I am
convinced that when she is the least bit tired she has a VERY bad day.   So
we let her sleep late and go to bed very early if need be.   She seems
happiest when just left to lay in bed or sleep on the sofa a lot.    We are
processing the paperwork to get her admitted, but there is a glitch.   She
failed her physical.... a urinary tract infection (UTI).   She is on
antibiotics for it right now.

She also has lost a lot of the weight she had gained back.   She had lost a
lot when we first began to care for her, gained it back the first couple of
years, now she has lost it again.   She simply doesn't want to eat and she
starts refusing her food after a few bites.  We don't force her but coax and
coax and finally if she is really adamant, we give up.

My husband is furious about the physical and the UTI bit holding things up.
He says "what is a nursing home for if not to care for a person who is too
sick to be cared for at home?"   and.... "why can't they take her anyway,
and give her the antibiotics themselves?"  It just doesn't make any sense.

But the truth is that I know she is getting good care here, and we are
coaxing her to eat more and drink more.   I am sure that in a facility they
won't care so much if she is getting enough food or liquids.

It has become quite a hassle to bathe her, and it takes both Peter and I
together to get the job done well.   He gets her into the shower and onto th
e chair, then I do the main wash up, then he comes in, lifts her to wash
where I couldn't reach, and then gets her out of the shower so she doesn't
fall in the process.

Poor Ida just looks confused through it all and keeps saying "OK rinse off
now..." over and over  (just like she used to in the very beginning).   She
is less than comfortable with the new shower arrangements;  I previously had
her so relaxed and comfortable about showering, but now we are SO afraid she
will fall if we let her try to get in or out by herself, so I really need to
have Peter's help.    If she slipped I know I couldn't hold her.

She has gotten very unsteady on her legs and can hardly walk.   She has
fallen from time to time too.  Fortunately we have thick carpeting, and we
usually supervise her well when she wants to go from one place to another.

This is a rotten disease isn't it?

Char, it's good to see you post again, but sorry your news about John isn't
better.  Do hope you can get him on Memantine because it does seem to help
some people a lot.
Don't be too hard on yourself for being impatient at times.  It is
impossible to do everything just right when dealing with a person who has
any kind of dementia.  You just have to do the best you can, and I know you
do that all the time.  Hope things work out well for your daughter.  John
will probably do better when you two are by yourselves again.  Post when
you have the time.
Gwen

Hi Char,
So glad you posted!  I'm sorry to hear John is not doing better.  Have you
ever received a diagnosis of any kind?  I do hope the doctor will see the good
in Memantine, and prescribe it, and that you will have good results with it.

Love,
Trish

Dear Char,

So great to hear from you! Hope you are enjoying the visit from your
daughter, even with the extra confusion its bringing.

Like Trish said/asked - any closer to a diagnosis? The freezing you just
wrote about sounds like there may be a Parkinson's-like component. It's kind
of a classic Parkinson's symptom.