Thanks for all your comments and support.
I have just returned from a visit. The poster who said Dad's problem might
be depression is probably right. He has been prone to it all his life (runs
in family -- lucky me!) but denies it. I spent a lot of time reassuring him
this weekend about having lots of options as far as the house sale, etc. And
he definitely seemed better when I left yesterday.
Mom is definitely sliding though. She doesn't remember conversations five
minutes before sometimes. Fortunately, she realizes she has trouble and will
accept help, though she gets frustrated at herself. I would be nervous about
her living alone at this point.
I just have to take it one day at a time and make the best choices I can as
I go!
Songbird
Evelyn Ruut - 29 Mar 2004 15:20 GMT
> Thanks for all your comments and support.
>
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>
> Songbird
Hi Songbird,
That is the hardest part of the process. The beginning, when they don't
know what is wrong with them and are not used to allowing others to manage
things.

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Evelyn
(To reply to me personally, remove sox)
Gwen Love - 29 Mar 2004 22:19 GMT
Songbird, the early times are hard for the patient and the caregiver. One
time that I just really felt sorry for Grayson was when he had put on the
clothes I had laid out for him except his pants. He walked in the kitchen
holding them up and said, "What do I do with these?" Broke my heart!
Gwen

Signature
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Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
- Paul Boese
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| Thanks for all your comments and support.
|
[quoted text clipped - 13 lines]
|
| Songbird
Dennis P. Harris - 30 Mar 2004 04:49 GMT
> The poster who said Dad's problem might
> be depression is probably right. He has been prone to it all his life (runs
> in family -- lucky me!) but denies it.
The first rule of mental illness is that the person who has one
has no insight into his illness, and may never become aware of
how others perceive his behavior as abnormal. It would be very
unusual for someone with depression to *not* deny that they are
depressed.
As I found out with my mother, depression can indeed cause quite
bad memory problems, as well as making the person "stuck" so that
she or he can't start doing anything new. You should talk to
your father's doctor about his depression and getting him on some
meds to help.
If he continues denying it, tell him that you have noticed his
"lack of energy" (another symptom) and you want him to talk to
his doc about it.
Songbird - 30 Mar 2004 17:54 GMT
> If he continues denying it, tell him that you have noticed his
> "lack of energy" (another symptom) and you want him to talk to
> his doc about it.
You're right, Dennis. It's all going in the file for the new doc. He does
have a lack of energy, which may be depression or may be something more
serious like congestive heart failure. I have not been able to get him to
switch docs where he is -- he loves this guy -- so I am pinning all my hopes
on the new doc once he moves. I'm putting together some notes for the doc on
both of them and have already told both parents they should "expect" a
complete physical as a "routine" part of getting set up with a new doctor. I
plan to specifically ask the doctor to do the MMSE on them and the
clock-drawing test at least on mom. We still don't have an AD diagnosis (or
a rule-out diagnosis) because current doctor says there is nothing wrong
with her -- and I doubt he would diagnose depression either!
When she forgot something over the weekend, she threw up her hands in
disgust and said, "I need a keeper!" To which Dad replied, "I'm your keeper,
and once we move, she's (pointing to me) going to be keeper for both of us."
I fear he's being prophetic.
Songbird