Hi Beth,

Welcome to the group nobody wanted to join, but all of us have found great
comfort here.  I am sure you will find the same.

I related to your comments about auctioning off the estate.   When we
cleaned out my mother in law's home a year and a half ago, it was such a sad
feeling to break down a person's whole life.   It made me resolve to clean
up our own house and get rid of as much junk as possible and simplify, so my
own kids don't one day have to go through too much.

Sorry you have to be here, but I am glad to meet you.

Beth, glad you decided to introduce yourself.  No only will you get support
here, you can share things also.
Gwen

Hi Beth - I've been in your shoes.

My mother died when I was 17 and my father died suddenly when I was
34, and pregnant with my first child. My brother (Peter Pan with a
substance abuse problem) was in Germany with the armed forces at the
time, and I was the executor, so I got to do EVERYTHING, from arrange
the funeral, to clean out his house, sell his car, etc. etc. I not
only got NO help from my brother whatsoever, but he gave me a lot of
grief and hassle about everything he possibly could. Thank goodness
for my spouse!!!

Like yours, my husband was also an only child. His dad had died before
we got married, but when I was pregnant with #2, his mother developed
AD. By the time she died in 1999, we were the parents of three kids
under 7. All four of our parents were gone by the time we were in our
early 40's.

Ham in sandwich, yes-sir-eee!

I know exactly what you mean about the cleaning out of the house
business. I've done it three times now (my parents place, my MILs
place and my husband's aunt's place) and it breaks my heart.

Its going to sound crazy, but I have nightmares where my father isn't
actually dead - its all been some sort of terrible mistake. He comes
back, and finds strangers living in his house, and that I've gotten
rid of all his possessions -I'm mortified, and he's bereft and lost
and has no place to go. In the dreams, I'm wracking my brain to think
where various items have gone, and trying to get them back for him so
he has some furniture. I've even dreamt that we were in his old house,
trying to explain to the new owners that they had to leave so he could
live there again. Just crazy - but obviously a sign of how upsetting I
found the process of dispersing everything he'd accumulated over a
lifetime.

Mary G.