Liquids will also lead to the inevitable aspiration pneumonia.
Unfortunately no swallow reflex means nothing goes in the mouth.

Once your Mom has reached the point of having no swallow reflex, you
might think differently.  That is, once my Dad reached this point, we
swtiched to a D5W (5% dextrose [glucose] in water) to keep him
hydrated/comfortable.  No antibiotics (they might be offered based on
hospital protocol) and no naso-gastric feeding tube.  At this point,
the latter two treatments *might* prolong the inevitable.

In your Mom's case, a ng-tube would be considered an artificial means
used to prolong her life.

Darryl.

What generally happens is that the person takes in less and less food
with time, despite all the coaxing and careful handfeeding you may
try. My MIL essentially stopped eating about 6 weeks before her death
- she just wasn't interested at all - she'd push your hand away, or
turn her head, or just not open her mouth, or let it fall out. She was
sleeping more and more. Everyone tried many times a day right up to
the end, but clearly, the tide was going out, and she was just
shutting down. She also took in less and less fluids with time.

She did not seem to be suffering or in distress at all - just sort of
drifting away. I don't know if their brains are so damaged that they
don't feel hunger or thirst, but we couldn't get her to take anything
in - and I don't know what the point of forcing the issue with tubes
and IVs would have been (never mind that the evidence shows that
neither approach really does anything to turn the tide - when they
start to go, intervening just makes the whole thing take longer, which
is agony on everyone.

She was bedridden within a very short time (she'd slump forward if you
tried to sit her up), so she spent her days propped in bed, almost in
a comatose state. I think its much more distressing for the caregivers
- you feel like you should be DOING something, and the idea of letting
them essentially starve to death is upsetting - but really, there is
nothing to be done other than to make sure they are very comfortable,
in no pain, and hold their hand. We had glycerine wipes to keep her
mouth moist. In our culture, its very hard just to do nothing but wait
and love them and let the inevitable unfold.

Her death was very gentle and peaceful - my husband was there (her
only child).
The nursing ward had regular care conferences, and the staff there and
her doctor were 100% in support of letting nature take its course - no
one suggested we do anything aggressive to keep her going (and of
course, she had a DNR order, so no one messed with her in those final
moments).

It was so right, and we don't regret any actions taken in her final
days.

Mary G.

So true.  My mother only lived three days after that.

My mom just passed away on Wednesday.  We had her at home, and hospice
was very helpful.  They tell you that dehydration is a mild sedative
so advise against IVs.  They set me up with morphine, lorazepam and
ativan.  (They gave mom some drugs, too.)

Heh.

Sorry, I can't help it.  I'm crying and laughing all at the strangest
times.

It was so very sad to watch her lose her memories and understanding of
things, but now it's over (much more quickly than I ever expected) and
I'm glad I was able to find help and have her at home so we could be
with her.  She never forgot what love and tenderness was about.

~Des