If the truth be told, NO I wouldn't like my mother in law to talk more
again.   The babble and endless questions nearly drove us to distraction.
She can still ask a sensible question, and she still talks but believe it or
not more like normal people talk.....when there is something to say.   The
endless yada yada yada stage was very difficult for us.

<snipped>

Hi, Jason.

My mom isn't talking anymore, she can't seem to form a thought
coherently or maybe it's finding the words.

I do sort of wish she was still at the previous stage where she'd talk
and not make sense because at least then she could tell us things (in
short phrases she was ok, like "my leg hurts" or "I'm not hungry.")
But I guess that's just because she's in the final stage right now and
she won't live much longer.

Anyway, repetitive questions are the worst, I suppose, but if you can
just relax and keep answering repetitively, it gets easier.  I wonder
if it isn't so hard for us, the family, because we're trying so hard
to make ourselves understood - try letting go of that and just make
having a calm and peaceful time the goal.

This isn't to say that you and your wife shouldn't be feeling the way
you are, it's definately a demanding and stressful situation to deal
with and anyone in his or her right mind would become overtaxed.  

One thought - I found that I could sit and watch TV with her or even
read a book and nod my head and say "mm hm" and she was fine with
that.  She especially liked me to hold her hand, and it didn't matter
what I said or didn't say.  

~Des

I don't think its a matter of encouragement at all - they do lose the
ability to talk and its nothing to do with practice. Their brain
forgets how to put concepts into language (or maybe it can't hold a
thought long enough to get intelligible words out), and also can't
control their muscles enough to form sounds.

My MIL lost her ability to speak over a period of about two weeks.
Prior to that, although she would tell long meandering shaggy doggy
stories that made little sense, she could talk in actual words. Her
ability to understand and reply to spoken language declined with time
- if you asked her a question, even phrased very simply, she wouldn't
necessarily understand you or be able to answer even with a yes or no.
She also did a lot of ranting and gesturing when she got agitated, but
what came out were jumbled fragments of information, half sentences
etc. although you could often intuit what had got her going with
careful listening.

However, all of a sudden over a couple of weeks, the ability to say
words just about vanished. She still vocalized and gestured, but what
came out was nonsense syllables and a lot of odd repetions (i.e.
ga,ga,ga,ga, ni,ni,ni,ni). Very, very occasionally and totally out of
the blue she would come out with a sentence or phrase that would make
sense (such as when looking at a photo album, she'd suddenly identify
someone in the pictures - "Oh, look, there's Bob!" but then go back to
the ga,ga,ga stuff. I'm not sure how aware she was that she made no
sense - by that point, she really wasn't really too aware of what was
going on around her, and was sleeping a lot.

It was a sad day when we realized that we really couldn't communicate
verbally with her at all, but honestly, before she started with the
nonsense syllables, I'm not sure she understood what was being said to
her anyway.

Mary G.

Hi Jason,

My wife still speaks in almost full sentences, it takes awhile but we have
the rest of our lives as far as I'm concerned, so her AD hasn't progressed
as far as has your mother's. I have heard the " perhaps I shouldn't say
anything at all" sentence from her, too. It comes at the times when I'm
fully engaged in other pursuits, not paying enough attention to her needs,
which seen to be constant and continuous. It comes at times when I forget
that there's still a person in there, not merely my charge, nor patient, nor
a declining care-absorber. I have to keep fine tuning my expectations to
deal with shifting demand for the use of my brain, since hers is no longer
able to coherently process the flow of information to which she's subjected.

Alzheimer disease is depressing and demanding on all parties in this macabre
dance. It has to be frightening as hell for those destined to slog through
the tangle of declining abilities. My wife is well aware that she is unable
to communicate freely with others, outside of our relationship, and it makes
her mad as hell. Since I'm the only one she knows who has developed the
skills, and who shows the patience to listen, she is compelled to "pester"
me, or to abandon communications altogether.

It may be that your mom, although she can't communicate it clearly, feels
the same way. She has to have someone, perhaps her last someone, with whom
to share these, her last thoughts, no matter how incoherently they may come
out. The element that makes humans unique in the world is our ability to
communicate abstract ideas. The moment your mom becomes unable to do so is
the moment that she loses the uniqueness upon which you two have traded much
of your love, affection and commonality for decades.

There's a Tom Handy saying, "A person's face can tell you so much,
especially the mouth part." You'll lose a lot when your mom stops talking.
Please work hard to insure that the last thing she says to you is, "Jason, I
love you."

go'l.

Hi Jason,
My Mom hasn't spoken in any understandable sentences for about 4
years now. I do miss her speaking and relish the very occasional
words that make sense. Her favorite words are yes/no but I
don't think she understands what they mean. I do miss her
speaking but I also remember very well the tension for both of us
when she kept repeating things over and over. I guess my biggest
fear is that when she does pass I won't be able to remember the
"other" years when she was my Mom without AD. I don't know about
encouraging
her to ask things again but maybe you can keep in mind the future
and when she does speak so you and she are less frustrated.