Hi Sonja,
What a beautiful letter. My Mom also sees people and has sort of
conversations with them. It's scary and comforting at the same
time.
Mare

Thank you all for your input and support.  You were all so right.
The
children came to see Grandma and brought the pictures they drew
to
express their love.  They were both quiet and respectful.  Her
granddaughter read her green eggs and ham.  All the pieces just
seem to
be naturally fitting together.
I would like to share a letter I wrote to my dear friends here
with all
of you dear friends, too.

Saved e-mail message

From: VideoEvent@webtv.net (Video Event) Date: Sun, Feb 29, 2004,
1:07pm To: videoevent@webtv.net Subject: My mom
My dear friends,
My mom is very frightened to be left alone. And while she's
sleeping, I
don't want to wake her, by talking on the phone. It's just much
easier
for me to communicate with you by forwarding my letters.
After my mom was transported home from the hospital, she was so
weak, I
didn't know if she could make it more than 2 weeks. Her speech
was
barely a whisper and her words mostly didn't make much sense.
When she
asked to be moved, I picked her up, but her feet would just drag
underneath her.
Slowly, she began to regain her strength. She began drinking
water,
boost & yogurt smoothies. She was able to swallow her pills. She
began
eating apple sauce, pudding, bananas, cottage cheese. She kept
progressing. She was able to communicate her words & thoughts
clearly.
We began to have hope that she was getting better. She began to
eat
ravenously, (for her appetite) two mornings in a row, and a
dinner.
Solid foods; bits of chicken, pasta, quesadilla. She had no
problem
swallowing anymore. She would say hurry, hurry; wanting me to
just
shovel the food into her. "More. Hurry. Hurry". Two mornings in a
row.
She has never shoveled food, even before her alzheimers. She has
always
chewed each tiny bite forever.
As she became physically stronger, her emotional anxiety
returned. And
it was 7:30pm, when the phone rang and it was the Reverend from
hospice
wanting to come visit her. I told him that she's really afraid
right now
with her alzheimers and asked if we could reschedule for Tuesday.
As I
got off the phone, mom asked who it was. She told me to have him
come
now. During the time, we were waiting for him to arrive, she
asked me to
have him bless our family, our home, and to bless her. She kept
repeating "Lord, Jesus", over and over again. This went on for
several
minutes. Then she opened her eyes and said, "where is he?" I
said, "He's
here with you, now, surrounding you and I with His Love as He
always
has." She probably meant the Rev.
And the doorbell rang. I said, "That's the Reverend., arriving
now. He's
a man of God". I opened the front door and Reverend Doug walked
in. And
right behind him, a wild bird followed him into the house. It was
a
beautiful bird. It flew past Rev. Doug into the den and turned
down the
hall, towards moms room, and hit into the cabinets. I ran towards
mom's
room, closed her door, and ducked, as this bird kept swooping by
me,
trying to fly, but kept running into her bedroom door. It finally
tired,
flying through the house and happened to fall into my kitchen
sink,
where Rev. Doug swooped it up into a cloth and released it. He
was in
awe of how beautiful this bird was. I was in awe, too. He sat
down on
the bed with my mom and held her hands. I can't even remember the
most
beautiful prayer he gave her and our family. I'll ask him for it
Tuesday. The only marks I could find in the house, left by the
bird,
were on her bedroom door. I told mom that God sent this bird to
her as
His messenger of peace in answer of her prayers.
The next morning, I woke up to my mom standing on her own two
feet,
bedside the bed! She had enough strength to lift herself up,
slide off
my high bed onto her own two feet and wasn't even leaning on the
bed to
support herself! It was her talking that waked me. When we made
our
usual rounds to her lazyboy, wheelchair, everywhere, that day, I
could
feel her carrying herself, walking. She was so much stronger. And
she
kept telling me she wanted to move. She said she wanted to dance
with
me. I thought she meant she just wanted to move from the bed to
the
lazyboy, because when I pick her up I say "we're dancing". She
said,
"no, I don't want to go to the chair,
I want to dance with you". So I turned on the sinatra, and WE
DANCED!!!
In hindsight, I wish I hadn't persuaded her not to overdo it,
that day.
I didn't realize, then, this gift.
The nurse came, because she's been experiencing nausea &
abdominal pain,
off and on. She wouldn't take any foods or liquids and gagged
just
trying to drink water. Our worst fear for her is a blockage from
the
tumor. After examining her, the nurse reassured us that she's not
experiencing abdominal pain. Her nausea is caused by her extreme
anxiety. Her dymentia is causing even more fear & anxiety.  She
prescribed her ativan, which is really helping her anxiety, now.
She said my mom knows a lot more than we do about what's going on
right
now.
My mom has been telling us about these people all around her,
since the
end of the year. The faces she see's. She, literally, points them
out.
She's not afraid of them anymore.  She says she doesn't know
them.  They
are asking her to come with them.  Arthur thinks they're angels.
I do
too, and I think those angels are her mother, son, aunt, and all
her
loved ones waiting for her. I think she just doesn't recognize
them,
YET.
love,
Sonja