Paul, I answer Alzheimer's questions for allexperts.com - something
like 350 over the last 3 or 4 years. I actually keep a file of
relatively stock chunks of text that I can cut and paste into various
responses because the questions tend to have some extremely common
themes.

Its actually very depressing to me that the questions are so similar,
because it tells me that people everywhere with loved ones AD are
faciing very similar problems, and in need of what seems like very,
very basic information and support. I'm very disappointed with the
medical profession, which so often fails utterly to supply even the
basic facts people need, or to steer them to resources that can help.
I realize that doctors are busy, but AD is such a common illness, and
has such a huge impact on families, the problems and issues need to be
taken seriously by the doctors families trust to help them. Being at
the end of your coping rope IS a medical crisis, just as surely as
having an infection. There is nothing worse than being brushed off and
not knowing where to turn, or being handed a diagnosis and nothing
more. If I was a doctor with older people in my practice, as a bare
minimum, I'd be making up some simple handouts for families with
contact information for local agencies, and the titles of some helpful
books or publications.

Having said all that, many people whose loved ones are in the early
stages are not ready to hear what some of us have to say. They just
aren't ready to believe or accept that what has happened to us will
happen to them. As all of us know, when we are told the diagnosis, it
just seems too unbelievable that the disease will relentlessly
progress. Being told we'd better make plans for worst case and be
proactive can make us bristle. With every other life situation, we're
used to looking ahead with hope - not with the sure and terrible
knowledge that this is as good as it gets, and its a one way slide to
darkness.

Mary G.