There are organizations for Elder Affairs in most cities. Some are city
agencies, some are private organizations. They usually act as a
clearinghouse for information and/or referrals. That's where my MIL got her
referral.

Some areas have something called a Council for Aging. I've never found out
what they offer, but would guess they'd keep that kind of info as well. You
can also try the local United way office to find out what agencies do elder
affairs in your area. A good reference librarian might know as well.

Sorry I can't be of more help. but names and scope of the agency vary from
place to place.

Hello, Songbird,

I found an elder care attorney on the internet by typing a search into
Google with the words "elder law" and the name of the town where my
parents live.  One name came up, so  I called her and asked for an
hour consultation.  Everyone probably won't have the luck I had, but
she turned out to be wonderful, knowledgeable and very helpful, and
she didn't charge me a dime.  (Later, I took my dad to her and he
agreed to hire her; she's a smart woman.)

The best part of it has been her suggestion that we consider a live-in
caregiver, and she even recommended someone who was looking for a new
position.  We interviewed the woman shortly after Christmas, liked her
very much, and all agreed that this was the best option.  My dad was
having to pay over $4000.00/mo for Mom to stay in the nursing home
after Medicare declined to pay.  (This even though she has advanced
dementia and is non-ambulatory after breaking her leg shortly before
Christmas.)  Our new caregiver had taken care of another woman AD for
the past few years, who'd just passed away.  Now she needed a place to
live, so we're meeting her need in that sense as she's working for
room and board.

We  were able to bring my mother home last week, and now I know she'll
have closer attention and Dad will be able to get some sleep finally.
He can also go about his puttering around in the garden and so on, as
he likes, instead of waiting for the one or two days a week that I can
go over there.  At the nursing home he was spending so many hours in
the chair next to her bed to keep her company that I was  afraid
*he'd* end up with a blood clot or something.

In any case, while it's obviously been a big adjustment (still
ongoing) to have a strange new person (and her dog) living in his
home, Dad is going to be much better off now.  I'm thrilled, and I
don't feel so helpless or worried about not being able to be there
more than a couple of days a week.  My mother is slowly declining and
it's an awful thing to watch as she dies bit by bit, but I've gotten
to the point of being more worried about my dad.  He's still alive and
relatively well, for an 83 y.o., and I'd like to see him stay that way
as long as possible.  It's an awful disease, as we know, but we have
to remember, too, that it's no use sacrificing healthy lives in its
wake.

Just sharing some of what's been going on here.  Good luck to you, and
to everyone: ask for help from everyone and anyone you can think of...
people want to help out there and you may find exactly what you need.

~Des

P.S.  One of the side benefits of having a live-in helper was that it
forced us to clean out one of the spare bedrooms.  Anybody want some
old knitting magazines from the '60s and '70s?  We filled the
recycling bin but there's plenty more where those came from...

The elder law foundation certifies attorneys as elder law attorneys.  Try
them for a recommendation near you