What is a dedicated memory care unit.  Is that part of a nursing home.
Thank You
Gail

On Aug 25, 8:59 pm, Carolina Songbird <carolinasongb...@gmail.com>
wrote:

Hi Songbird,

I know how you feel.  I felt the same way about leaving my MIL for a
short time at a nursing home that offered respite care.    We just
couldn't do it, as she was already so confused we feared pulling the
only familiar things out from under her.   We even canceled airline
tickets and travel arrangements, leaving Peter home to care for her
that week, and I reluctantly went alone.

But when the time came that we moved her into the nursing home to live
for good, her adjustment went surprisingly well.   I realized that all
our fears were for nothing, because she was already living in a world
where every experience was an unfamiliar one due the the illness
itself.    Yet to our amazement she adapted quickly and well and
within a couple of weeks it was as though she'd always been there.

Of course as soon as she would see us she would start to ask to go
home, but if she didn't see us arriving, yet we could see her, we
realized she was doing fine.   The nurses would tell us that she was
fine too.   Others here have reported the same sort of thing, so maybe
it will be that way for your mom too.

Songbird, I know how you have agonized over her illness for so long.
At least now you will be assured that her diabetes, hygiene, diet and
medication will be professionally supervised and you can finally relax
and go and visit her at your best.   This has been a tough journey for
you and I feel for you.  You have fought so hard to get her properly
cared for.   I hope that her emotional adjustment goes well.

We have spoken so many times about my fathers and yours being similar
in temperament.   I am going through the worst right now with that.
I am really glad you have been able to get him to see the reasonable
thing and get your mom into a good facility.

Best Regards,
Evelyn

Songbird, vent all you want if it helps.  Sometime just telling someone does
really make you feel better.  And that is what we're here for.
Gwen

My mom is the one with vascular dementia, and my dad has been living
with her in assisted living. She has taken a steep decline recently and
will have to move into a dedicated memory care unit soon. We are
postponing that move until after they celebrate their 50th anniversary
next month.

Dad cannot stay with her once she moves. He and I found him a nice condo
to rent down the street today; he can be at the facility in under five
minutes if there is an emergency. (If he were to stay at the AL, the
monthly bill for the two of them would be out of sight. Plus he really
bridles at the restrictions of the place. Although he is starting to
slip, he can still pretty much take care of himself for the time being.)

The problem is that she is totally fixated on him. She refuses to let
the assistants at the AL take care of her -- "he'll do it." If he is out
of her sight, she doesn't know what to do. I have to be quite persuasive
to have her leave the facility just with me to go to the doctor or to go
buy her clothing. "I'll have to check with him."

It's going to tear our hearts out when the move comes, because we know
she will be devastated. I hope you don't mind if I vent here so I can
stay strong to do the right thing for her!

Songbird