Hi Brianna!  I work in an Alzheimers' assisted living facility and know of
no special formula to get my residents into the shower.  Residents refusing
to bathe is pretty common there.  Some enjoy the shower, some will do it
just to get it over with, then there are others who absolutely hate it.  Did
your brother in law prefer morning or evening showers in the past?   Is the
room nice and warm for him during the bath?  You might even have to 'trick'
him into bathing by telling him he's getting ready for a special occasion or
appointment the next day.  It takes time and patience that's for sure.  Hope
you work something out!

Sally

It is VERY common for alzheimers patients.   I would suggest she catch him
either late at night when he is taking his clothes off for bed, or first
thing in the morning before he gets dressed.   SHE will have to help him
bathe, because he probably can't remember what to do.

A shower stool and a shower head on a hose will make all the difference in
the world.   He won't feel insecure, and she can supervise it better.   We
have discussed all this many times in the past on this newsgroup, with
various techniques for making it an easier experience for her and for him.

Hi Brianna

Yup, its pretty common that they don't want to bathe. Keep in mind
that they have no self insight - they can't see what you see. They
don't see the dirt, grease and other soil, on themselves or their
clothing. They also have an impaired sense of smell so they don't
"get" either, even if the evidence is bringing you to your knees. With
an impaired memory, they don't remember when they last bathed, but
they assume they must have done it per their regular routine.

Also consider that bathing is actually a very complicated business.
You have to do a series of activities in a particular order. You have
to be able to plan (what do I need to have with me ?). You also have
to be able to coordinate a series of actions requiring decisions and
judgements (how do I adjust the temperature of the water, how much I
know when there is enough water in the tub, how do I turn it off, how
do I let it out??)
Many people with dementia have some very bothersome sensory issues -
they can be very sensitive to water from a shower falling on their
skin, for example. They can be upset by feeling cold or exposed when
naked.

Overall, the whole thing ends up just being way too much for them, its
scary and threatening, and totally overwhelming. Some will do better
if you can take some of the stress out of the situation. You don't nag
or confront. You just go and run the bath and get everything ready for
them so they don't have to manage so many activities, and then you
coax, cajole or whatever will work. Sometimes just being matter of
fact works - i.e. you don't ask them, you just get the bathtub ready
and take them in there. You be there in the process to help prompt,
assist or supervise - whatever level of help they need to get properly
washed, and in and out of the tub or shower safely.

They can also have balance and depth perception problems, so they are
scared of falling, or of getting in or out of the tub or shower. A
bath chair and some grab bars can help (as other's have suggested) so
they feel safer.

By the time my MIL was in mid AD, I'm not sure she really understood
what the purpose of bathing was. I know she was distressed by water in
her face - she was like a little kid who didn't know enough to close
her eyes or mouth when the shower was on - so she'd sputter and cough.
If you were helping her, you really had to watch what you were doing
and keep it away from her face. She'd also forgotten how to wash her
hair and rinse it properly. She just needed total supervision and
support. She certainly didn't know enough to put soap on a washcloth
and make sure private areas were clean (i.e. she might sort of stand
there and rinse off if she was unsupervised, but that doesn't mean she
actually got CLEAN, which is really an issue when you start having
continence problems).

Here are some good tips.

http://www.alzheimerresourcecenter.org/Bathing%20Tips.html
http://www.ec-online.net/Knowledge/Articles/bathtips.html
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=155

Mary G.