Dementia in Everyday Life

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June - 07 Feb 2008 01:28 GMT

As you all know my mother has had dementia for several years now and I have
learned to have the patience of Job with her. Lord knows we all need it to
deal with our loved ones. But since I too am a person of a certain age, I
find so many others at social functions with varying degrees of dementia. I
try to be patient with them too but I play cards in a card club that has a
few members who renege because of dementia. The club is sponsored by a
church and I used to enjoy it but find I really don't enjoy going anymore.
I've learned to ignore the people in my senior bowling league that walk-up
on the adjoining approach (while I'm getting ready to bowl) who are totally
oblivious to anyone else. One lady lost her bowling ball and it was finally
found after a long search on an ally several lanes away from where it should
have been. I've been asked to sub in another senior bowling league but I
won't because I just don't want to deal with it. I do bowl in a regular
league that has people of all ages and it's not a problem there.
I'm I the only one who notices what is going on? I can spot someone with
dementia almost immediately. I admit before my mother was diagnosed with
dementia, I probably chalked it to normal aging or maybe someone who just
wasn't all that bright. I would never be unkind because 'There but for the
grace of God go I'. One encouraging thing is the number of older people
that don't have dementia. That's my selfish rantings for today.......June

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august - 07 Feb 2008 04:47 GMT

> As you all know my mother has had dementia for several years now and I
> have learned to have the patience of Job with her. Lord knows we all
[quoted text clipped - 18 lines]
> people that don't have dementia. That's my selfish rantings for
> today.......June

Being a caregiver makes you very sensitive to the odd behaviors that when
watched closely over time demonstrate dementia - only you do not need to
watch them over time - because you already know exactly what you are looking
at.
At Christmas I caused a big stink by telling my younger sister that out
mother was exhibiting numerous signs of early dementia (flying cross country
with no driver's license, money or credit cards for one thing) but all I did
was make her angry and very defensive about my mother's symptoms. No, you
are not the only one who frequently sees the signs of dementia in people.
This ability is either a blessing or a curse. Do your best to keep it a
blessing. good luck AW

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Mary_Gordon@tvo.org - 07 Feb 2008 21:31 GMT

Once you've had up close and personal experience with dementia, you
certainly can recognize it in a heartbeat.

Its amazing how many older people I meet...and within a few minutes I
just KNOW something is brewing on the cognitive front. And then I talk
to their neighbors, their friends, their family members, who more
often than not just don't see it all, or are in denial.

We have a family friend who just had her 80th birthday on the weekend,
and both my husband and I are quite alarmed at her mental
deterioration - its not subtle, its overt. She calls us frequently -
and although she is an extremely intelligent woman, she's no longer
consistently making sense - she's asking the same questions over and
over again, she's having huge problems with small appliances (totally
loopy about how to turn things on and off, even to the point of not
understanding how to unplug something). She's having trouble finding
words as well. Her three sons think she's just tired because of one of
her medications. But this isn't "tired" - this is that wierd
disconnect that sets off alarm bells in my gut.

I think living with with a person with dementia just hones that
"spider sense". I 'm not at all surprised your tolerance level is low
when you are trying to get some personal recreational or hobby time
in. You need to get away from it.

M.

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