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Nightwing - 28 Oct 2007 21:07 GMT

To those that remember me, howdy. To those that don't...

I see some things here never change, just the names, and faces.

It has bee a couple of years since Ruth passed away, and I have been
rebuilding my life. To those of you that are still caregiving the end will
be a mix of sadness and relief. Don't feel guilty about the relief though.
And don't dwell on what you could have done better or different, chances are
you are giving it your best shot, there is only so much you can do, and if I
made it through to the other side there is no reason you can't.

I see the usual suspects are still trying to run things here, One of the
reasons I left, was that the "Chosen Self Appointed Few" decided to re-form
this group in there image. I got tired of the fights, and caring for my
wife was way more important than the egos of a few that need to control
things. Control is an illusion, especially when dealing with this disease.
Do what you have to to get yourself through it. If what you choose offends
the control freaks here so much the better, they fail to realize the just
because something works for them, others are looking for something
different.

I used to post jokes and stupid stories just to try to lift someone else's
spirits, but that was deemed wrong, as I look back maybe I should have
fought back more, but too late now.

To those that killfile someone, why make such a big deal about it. Just do
it, don't talk about it. Is your opinion of yourself so low that you need
to advertise what you are doing so you can justify your opinion? For all
the comments about the newsgroups being free, some sure like to tell
everyone how to act here.

To those that have seen the bitter end when dealing with AD, cut some slack
to those that are still on the journey. Or maybe you should step away for a
while and get some perspective on your experience, and fix your head before
telling others what they should do.

It is said that God will not give you more than you can handle, this has
been true for me. No it is not always easy, and there are times when you
just want it to end. It will end eventually. The tight at the end of the
tunnel might not be an oncoming train.

You will be suprised what you can do when you have no choice, and remember
you are not alone.

I wish each of you Peace, Love, and eventual Happyness.

Reply to this Message

Evelyn Ruut - 28 Oct 2007 21:35 GMT

> To those that remember me, howdy. To those that don't...
>
[quoted text clipped - 42 lines]
>
> I wish each of you Peace, Love, and eventual Happyness.

Hi Nightwing,

I am glad you posted. I have often thought of you and hoped you were well
and happy.

Nobody is "running things" here. I always enjoyed your jokes and stories.
They did lighten the heart at times. Remember that usenet is free and
anyone can post anything. They can also post criticisms, whether deserved
or undeserved.

I think it is important that people develop a thicker skin when it comes to
public postings. I know they can hurt, I know it can be depressing, but
those are not the only ones reading here.

I wish you love and peace too!

Signature

Best Regards,

Evelyn

Reply to this Message

Nightwing - 28 Oct 2007 22:29 GMT

Evelyn, why should someone that truly comes here for help dealing with the
worst possible time in there life have to develop a thick skin? Why can't
those that do try to run things here, and don't deny it happens, take a bit
and think about what they say. Or better yet just ignore it completely. I
don't know how many times I have seen the same person tell everyone that
posts here what is proper or not proper. And you know who I mean. This
group when I first started posting was a group that for over a year I had
never seen a cross word exchanged, Then the "Board War" with the Diabetes
group happened and the Genie never went back in the bottle. Sadly a lot of
good and caring people left the group at that time, they were truly missed.

This is not your personal domain, nor does it belong to Dennis, Gwen, or me.
Different people come here for different reasons, seeking different things.
Mind you the cross-posted porn ads, or anything by ironjustice are not what
this group is for, is it necessary to respond to any of it? Why is it
necessary to post "PLONK" if you are going to killfile someone? Why is it
necessary to tell anyone that you did? Are you so important that if you
don't read my postings it doesn't matter? I am not trying to offend, I am
just stating my observations from the outside looking in. Like I said I
have had some time to put my experiences in perspective, and I recommend
that to those that have had their loved one pass on. Those of us that are
looking back on AD are some what "Elder Statesmen". We should try to help
others and support them, not denigrate what they write here. So you don't
agree, if it isn't dangerous what is the harm? It isn't necessary to
critique every post here, some people just need to have somewhere to vent,
and this being public does not excuse the treatment that some have received
here. And how many see that and feel that they are not welcome even though
they need assistance, but are afraid to post due to someone's response to a
message.

The name of this group is alt.SUPPORT.alzheimers. Remember that.

> Hi Nightwing,
>
[quoted text clipped - 11 lines]
>
> I wish you love and peace too!

Reply to this Message

Evelyn Ruut - 28 Oct 2007 23:01 GMT

> Evelyn, why should someone that truly comes here for help dealing with the
> worst possible time in there life have to develop a thick skin? Why can't
[quoted text clipped - 28 lines]
>
> The name of this group is alt.SUPPORT.alzheimers. Remember that.

Dear Nightwing,

I have never forgotten it.
Never once.

This group has been a lifesaver to me, and to so many others.

But I am also very conscious of the fact that people come here, often lost,
confused, not knowing what to believe, what can help. You get someone who
is telling them that antibiotics are going to cure their loved one of
alzheimers, it is not only important, but obligatory to say it isn't so!

We have always had the real trolls, the mentally ill. The ironjustice
quack, the guy who insists alzheimers is caused by ill fitting shoes, the
man who thought he could TRAIN his wife out of it with flash cards and daily
tutoring. Then of course there is the one who says that antidepressants
can spread alzheimers from one patient to the other by some kind of mind
control through the ether......... do you get the picture?

If we say nothing, then the next person whose loved one is diagnosed is
going to come here and read this nonsense and think that because no one
spoke up against it, that it is true.

Loving support, yes. Good sound advice, yes. Endorsement of every
quack's cockamamy idea, or remaining silent in the face of such
stuff.......I don't think so.

I truly hope you don't consider expressing such sentiments "ruling" this
group. I consider it giving accurate and good information as best I know
it, and keeping this group on track for those who come here with a need to
know some real information, amid all the quackery and craziness on usenet.

Same for those who remain here, including Dennis, Tumbleweed, Mary and Gwen,
and quite a few of the other old timers who still drop in to help when they
can.

In fact, I was thinking of you lately and wondering how you were, believe it
or not. I haven't forgotten any who have frequented this group over the
years.

And yes, I do think that any person who posts or reads on usenet for any
reason whatsoever, needs to be aware of the quack factor, and the fact that
any and all information they read here should be checked with their doctor
or elder care lawyer. It's simple good sense. If you want to call that
"a thicker skin," that is fine, then a thicker skin it is.

Nightwing, do you KNOW how many people are falling for the Nigerian scammers
who victimize people online? There are literally millions of dollars
leaving this country, being sent to Nigerian scammers who tell people they
won some lottery they never entered, or that they have money in a vault
somewhere that they can only get if you send them $10,000. ????? My bank
has sent out a notice to beware of this, and they have notices posted all
over the bank!!!!

There may be a sucker born every minute, and I can guarantee you that some
poor person is going to be trying to give their loved one antibiotics to
cure their alzheimers, or denying them antidepressants for fear they will be
mind-controlled from it, if they read this trash on our newsgroup.

It isn't just a good idea to speak up against it, it is our obligation to do
so.
At least, if you care, you should feel that way, and I do.

Signature

Best Regards,

Evelyn

Reply to this Message

Dennis P. Harris - 29 Oct 2007 01:57 GMT

> If we say nothing, then the next person whose loved one is diagnosed is
> going to come here and read this nonsense and think that because no one
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
> it, and keeping this group on track for those who come here with a need to
> know some real information, amid all the quackery and craziness on usenet.

What she said. Just because I'm blunt and quick to confront
quacks and trolls does NOT mean that I'm a "control freak".
Telling a troll that you're killfiling them is a clue to new
readers that posts from loonies and bigots should be ignored.

As I often tell folks, Usenet is NOT the place to find accurate
information, since it's so full of half baked opinions (or worse)
stated as "fact". If you can't deal with folks like me
confronting the ignorant, misinformed, and crazy instead of
letting them spout nonsense without challenge, that's YOUR
problem. Folks that find it "unpleasant" SHOULD go somewhere
else.

I think that I've done a lot over the past 5 years to help &
support those that truly want help and are ready to accept it.
Unfortunately, there are many just looking for sympathy as they
do the same things over and over and over again, even after being
told many times that what they are doing won't work (and it's
painfully obvious).

When it's obvious that the help or support is neither
acknowledged, or that the person refuses the help offered, some
of us just don't want to waste the time reading the person's
whines. Once again, that's not being a "control freak"; I would
call it "tough love" instead.

Reply to this Message

Evelyn Ruut - 29 Oct 2007 03:20 GMT

>> If we say nothing, then the next person whose loved one is diagnosed is
>> going to come here and read this nonsense and think that because no one
[quoted text clipped - 37 lines]
> whines. Once again, that's not being a "control freak"; I would
> call it "tough love" instead.

Dennis, I have never seen you be unkind to anyone. You can be brusque and
you can be direct, and I know you have little patience with certain types,
but you have never been mean, and have offered good advice consistently over
the years I have posted here. It is unfortunate that you are misunderstood
sometimes.

One area where we do disagree, but only somewhat, is in the area of off
topic material. Sometimes something inspirational or funny can lift the
spirits at a difficult time. I am sorry that Nightwing took offense about
it. I hope he understands and returns.

Signature

Best Regards,

Evelyn

Reply to this Message

sweetpickleNO@SPAMknology.net - 30 Oct 2007 02:08 GMT

I also hope Nightwing will return.
Gwen

>>> If we say nothing, then the next person whose loved one is diagnosed is
>>> going to come here and read this nonsense and think that because no one
[quoted text clipped - 48 lines]
> spirits at a difficult time. I am sorry that Nightwing took offense
> about it. I hope he understands and returns.

Reply to this Message

EddyJean - 30 Oct 2007 09:17 GMT

Re: Still lurking

Group: alt.support.alzheimers Date: Sun, Oct 28, 2007, 4:57pm (PDT-1)
From: NO_SPAM_TO_dpharris@gci.net (Dennis P. Harris)
On Sun, 28 Oct 2007 18:01:42 -0400 in alt.support.alzheimers, "Evelyn
Ruut" <evelyn.ruut@gmail.com> wrote:
If we say nothing, then the next person whose loved one is diagnosed is
going to come here and read this nonsense and think that because no one
spoke up against it, that it is true.
Loving support, yes. Good sound advice, yes. Endorsement of
every quack's cockamamy idea, or remaining silent in the face of such
stuff.......I don't think so.
I truly hope you don't consider expressing such sentiments "ruling" this
group. I consider it giving accurate and good information as best I
know it, and keeping this group on track for those who come here with a
need to know some real information, amid all the quackery and craziness
on usenet.
What she said. Just because I'm blunt and quick to confront quacks and
trolls does NOT mean that I'm a "control freak". Telling a troll that
you're killfiling them is a clue to new readers that posts from loonies
and bigots should be ignored.
As I often tell folks, Usenet is NOT the place to find accurate
information, since it's so full of half baked opinions (or worse) stated
as "fact". If you can't deal with folks like me confronting the
ignorant, misinformed, and crazy instead of letting them spout nonsense
without challenge, that's YOUR problem. Folks that find it "unpleasant"
SHOULD go somewhere else.
I think that I've done a lot over the past 5 years to help & support
those that truly want help and are ready to accept it. Unfortunately,
there are many just looking for sympathy as they do the same things over
and over and over again, even after being told many times that what they
are doing won't work (and it's painfully obvious).
When it's obvious that the help or support is neither acknowledged, or
that the person refuses the help offered, some of us just don't want to
waste the time reading the person's whines. Once again, that's not being
a "control freak"; I would call it "tough love" instead.

======================================

Hello Dennis:

You want us to believe your not a "control freak?" Excuse me while I'm
doubled over rolling on the floor from laughter. This Mr. "Know it All"
says he has a duty to save the new readers from loonies and bigots, do
you think your God? Surely the readers here are smart enough to
separate the logical from the illogical without you describing posters
as stupid, unscientific, insane trolls.

I'll explain it to you once again since you just can't seem to get it.
There is NO known cure for AD. Antibiotics DO NOT cure AD and NEVER SAID
they did. What I did say, however, In the earlier stages of the
disease, antibiotics DID help me in the SHORT RUN (4 to 6 weeks) before
all symptoms returned. As the disease progressed, antibiotics no longer
helped. They are formulated to fight bacteria, -- not viruses. This has
been observed in others as me. Now, Mr. "Know it All" is tellingl me I
didn't feel better on antibiotics (in the earlier stages) when I did.
This is not something I read in a book but what I personally
experienced.

It's my belief AD is caused from a viral infection. Since your a
"scientific factual" kind of guy, what evidence do you have (where and
by whom) that AD is NOT caused by a viral infection? I never got an
answer from you when I posted here several years ago and still wait for
an answer to my recent posts.

Healthcare costs in the United States are the highest in the world as
patients get little in return except "guess work." Whatever frightens
you so much Mr. "Know it all" at the suggestion AD is caused from a
viral infection is truly puzzling.

EddyJean

Reply to this Message

sweetpickleNO@SPAMknology.net - 28 Oct 2007 23:02 GMT

Nightwing, I used to post jokes also. Guess I quit because no one else was
doing it. I think I'll just start back. It does do good to laugh
occasionally! And stay with us. Your observations are also SUPPORT.
Gwen

> To those that remember me, howdy. To those that don't...
>
[quoted text clipped - 42 lines]
>
> I wish each of you Peace, Love, and eventual Happyness.

Reply to this Message

sweetpickleNO@SPAMknology.net - 28 Oct 2007 23:07 GMT

Nightwing, I used to post jokes but I quit, I guess because no one else was
doing it. I think I'll just start back. It helps to laugh at times. And
please stay with us. Your observations are also a kind of SUPPORT. We need
you.
Gwen

> To those that remember me, howdy. To those that don't...
>
[quoted text clipped - 42 lines]
>
> I wish each of you Peace, Love, and eventual Happyness.

Reply to this Message