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Medical Forum / Diseases and Disorders / Alzheimer's / October 2007New here, mom diagnosed with Alzheimer's
Hi Just introducing myself, new here, likely will be peeking in here now and then. My mother, 80 years old, just was diagnosed with Alzheimer's (psychological tests, MRI, neurologist, family doc, etc). Increasing confusing this past year, etc. etc. She has been living in a senior citizens retirement complex but yesterday my sister signed her up and got the keys to a unit at an assisted living complex that also cares for Alz patients (has nurses, locked entry to prevent wandering, no stoves except microwaves,e tc). Mom lost driving privelages this past April when she had a TIA and ditched the car and totalled it, nobody hurt thank goodness. I hope my sister and I are doing the right thing. Mom wanted to keep living where she is, but a couple of weeks ago she started taking Aricept for the Alz, in addition to her warfarin/coumarin, zolcor for cholesterol, metformin for type II diabetes; so she has had vomiting and diarrhea spells, likely a result of the Aricept and taking too much-- memory issues with pills in spite of a pillbox. I am sure this story is all too familiar with you regulars here. It is difficult for me in a way, because I live in northern Minnesota, 5 hour drive from home town where my mother and my sister live, so my sister is dealing with the physical and psychological strain of all this, but I also miss out on helping that I wish I could help with, but my job and life is here 5 hours away. I offered a few weeks ago to have mom come live with me, but that was before this recent downturn, and realistically I am coming to grips with thinking the assisted living place is much better for all concerned; while I might WANT to care for my mother, I do not think I could give her the care she needs and it would likely drain me. I guess my mother as I knew her is fading as her mind goes, that is sad but a reality. I will have to learn to love her even as she loses remembering me someday and loses her social interaction abilities. Am I right in thinking that I should make the most of this next calendar year, visit her as often as I can while some of her mind is still intact? ~Randall Randall, so sorry you need to be here, but hopefully our support and information that we can share with you will help. You are right in that you should enjoy everything you can with your mother now, because she will not get any better--only worse. The assisted living/alzheimers care will be much better for her. And please be sure that they will give her the pills she needs when she is supposed to have them. Since you live so far away, the best thing you can do for your sister is to let her makes decisions because being with your mother will give her knowledge that you cannot have. Also encourage her and help whenever you can. The aricept made my husband nauseaus for about two weeks; after that he had no problem with it. You are also correct in assuming that she will get better care in the assisted living than either of you could give her in your home. After all, the nurses go home after their shift and forget about all the problems until the next time they are on duty. You cannot do that if the patient is in your home. And you would definitely get worn out in a hurry. Many times, the caregiver dies before the patient does because of the worry, the physical strain, and all the problems that come up with in-home care. Let us know how things go, please. We'll help any way we can. Gwen > Hi > Just introducing myself, new here, likely will be peeking in here now [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > intact? > ~Randall Randall wrote in part - my > sister is dealing with the physical and psychological strain of all > this, Your biggest contribution will be to act as a sounding board for your sister, participate in thinking out loud with her, and a support for decisions she makes when she is on the scene and you are not. This will be immeasureably valuable to her. I can't add anything more to your analysis. You have obviously done a lot of thinking already, and you are on the right track. Best wishes to you, your sister, and your mother. Check in often with updates on how things are.  SignatureA R Pickett aka Woodstock "Sometimes the facts threaten the truth" Amos Oz, prize winning Israeli author Read my book reviews at: http://www.booksnbytes.com/reviews/_idx_ws_all_byauth.html Now blogging! http://www.journalscape.com/woodstock/ Remove lower case "e" to respond >Hi >Just introducing myself, new here, likely will be peeking in here now [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >for Alz patients (has nurses, locked entry to prevent wandering, no >stoves except microwaves,e tc). ... >It is difficult for me in a way, because I live in northern Minnesota, >5 hour drive from home town where my mother and my sister live, so my [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] >WANT to care for my mother, I do not think I could give her the care >she needs and it would likely drain me. That is just realistic - AD care can quite easily wear you totally out, to the extent that you are no longer capable of making sensible decisions. One of your new jobs will be to give your sister emotional support... >I guess my mother as I knew her is fading as her mind goes, that is >sad but a reality. I will have to learn to love her even as she loses >remembering me someday and loses her social interaction abilities. Am >I right in thinking that I should make the most of this next calendar >year, visit her as often as I can while some of her mind is still >intact? AD really is The Long Goodbye. BTW, even when she can no longer speak, your Mom may still remember you at some level. I remember well that in my wife's very last days, when she couldn't even talk or eat, she would still - very gently - kiss me back when I said goodbye. ... > AD really is The Long Goodbye. Sadly I am starting to see that as true. > BTW, even when she can no longer speak, your Mom may still remember you at some > level. I remember well that in my wife's very last days, when she couldn't > even talk or eat, she would still - very gently - kiss me back when I said > goodbye. Nice to say, to know, thank you for letting me know that. Thank to all that have replied to my original message introducing myself here. Things are moving fast-- my sister is having volunteers (church?) move my mother to the new assisted living place tomorrow. Mom seems to be OK with it, not too resistent. The new home she will have even looks nicer-- windows looking to a courtyard with an italian fountain, birdfeeder and birds, low windows so she can look out, perhaps even go out to that courtyard. 3 meals a day provided to residents. No stove, no dishwasher, but o/w she will have what she was used to -- bedroom with big walk in closet, bathroom but a shower now instead of a bathtub (why is that?), living room, and what is really nice is free wifi internet throughout the building so I can stay and visit and do my work from my laptop on her table (I teach all by internet). Randall You asked why shower and no tub - probably because tubs are more dangerous - slips, drowning, scalding, never mind the problem occasioned by forgetting to turn off the taps (i.e. Niagara Falls over the edge). I bet the shower has a temperature govenor on it. Don't be surprised though if she very rapidly needs help even with a shower (i.e. she needs a nurse to come help get her through it. She will find doing things in sequence a challenge, so any kind of bathing that requires you to do a series of actions in an order becomes daunting (i.e. get the towel, soap, shampoo, take your clothing off, turn on the water, adjust the temperature, get in, get washed, rinse off, get out, towel off - so many tiny steps to the whole activity). Also, for some reason, many people with AD seem to be hypersensitive to the feel of water on their skin. I have a nine year old daughter, and its only recently that she managed to get over a sort of similar "thing" with the shower. Not only the feel of it on her skin, but getting upset and confused about water on her face, in her mouth etc. Mary G (mother in law passed away from AD) > 3 meals a day provided to residents. No stove, > no dishwasher, but o/w she will have what she was used to -- bedroom > with big walk in closet, bathroom but a shower now instead of a > bathtub (why is that?) the shower is safer, and easier to use as her mobility problems increase, and as she forgets the steps of bathing and needs assistance. much easier for the aides to bathe her in a shower. also showers don't usually flood if someone forgets to turn it off. when the recoating on my old tub wears off, i'm going to put in a nice tiled shower with a bench instead. i'm just 60 now, but had trouble trying to help bathe my mother the last couple of years she lived in this house, and it was difficult to get her in and out of the tub. i want to make it easier for my caregivers when i get old enough to need assistance. >> 3 meals a day provided to residents. No stove, >> no dishwasher, but o/w she will have what she was used to -- bedroom [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > out of the tub. i want to make it easier for my caregivers when > i get old enough to need assistance. Good idea, Dennis. My mother in law needed lots of help bathing, and if it wasn't for the stall shower we have in one bathroom, it would've been a lot harder. She lost her balance and was not steady on her feet as the illness continued. At least with the stall shower the rim was a lot smaller to have to step over to get in and out. We picked up an aluminum and plastic shower chair very cheaply, and it is so convenient we still use it to this day. SignatureBest Regards, Evelyn On Oct 8, 3:23 am, NO_SPAM_TO_dphar...@gci.net (Dennis P. Harris) wrote: ... > when the recoating on my old tub wears off, i'm going to put in a > nice tiled shower with a bench instead. i'm just 60 now, but had > trouble trying to help bathe my mother the last couple of years > she lived in this house, and it was difficult to get her in and > out of the tub. i want to make it easier for my caregivers when > i get old enough to need assistance. Smart. I will do that do on my next house, since I am single and no kids, someday (hopefully not for decades) I will hire a home health care nurse and having a non-slip shower with a bench makes great sense. so sorry to hear about your mother I think you did the right thing I had mom in assist living for alzheimers also,only I think I waited too long. It took a real toll on me, mom passed away one week ago this sunday and I am so happy she wasn't alone ---she too wanted to stay in her home---the aircept helped my mother from getting much worse. she was would have been 93 when she passed away and her diagnose on her death certificate said senile dementia she still knew me until the very end. So I think I was very lucky that she didn't get much worse. It slowed the process down with the medication. God Bless you on your journey JJ On Oct 6, 12:50 pm, "beow...@nowhere.net" <r.oeler...@gmail.com> wrote: > Hi > Just introducing myself, new here, likely will be peeking in here now [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > intact? > ~Randall Hi randall, I too live in north central Minnesota.I have my mom in my home.I live near Brainerd.Where are you??? On Oct 7, 10:52 pm, "deerwoodflo...@hotmail.com" > I too live in north central Minnesota.I have my mom in my home.I > live near Brainerd.Where are you??? Duluth. Quite a ways from Mankato where mom and my sister live. It would be tough on mom to live here, away from her church she is involved in (since 1969). It just means a very long drive for me to visit her at the diagonally opposite end of a vertical state. |
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