Nah, I'm still here! Dunno if you recall me telling about the elderly
family friend who lived around the corner from us in the big three
story house. She left downsizing too long, and had to go to assisted
living two years ago (she had a stroke, followed by a seizure disorder
that means she's unsteady and needs someone around 24/7). Anyhoo, her
three sons, who all live in the US have been dithering around deciding
what to do about the family house - which has been the source of many
predictable disasters since its been standing empty, despite many
friends and neighbours watching out - broken pipe that totalled
ceilings, massive tree fell on the fence, yada, yada.

The sons have FINALLY started taking turns coming up to sort the
contents of the house to get it ready to sell. Oy, oy, oy. We went
over there to see how one of them was coming along, and you have never
seen so much shabby, musty, fusty, dusty, RUSTY crap. Heck, the father
of the household died many years ago, and his clothing was still in
the closets. Other than cherry picking the few nice things for family,
and packing some usable items for charity, essentially, a dumpster is
what is needed. And here is this poor guy standing ankle deep in the
debris of his mother's entire life - and although doubtless full of
memories, almost none of it usable, and very little of it worth
shipping to their assorted homes in Boston, Kentucky and Washington
from Toronto.

Mrs. S. is sliding mentally. She's calling us in confusion (not making
a whole lot of sense at all). She has taken to carrying her jewellry
around in a bag with her in assisted living because she thinks people
are coming in her room. I've tried to diplomatically suggest that
she's having mini-strokes or developing AD, and that they need now to
be making arrangements to have her moved closer to one of the sons,
but they look at me like I'm nuts.

Ah, denial. Or maybe inertia. Or both. Aaaaiiieeeee, I know its not my
problem, but I get the willies just thinking about the overwhelming
piles of junk in that house, and how damp and dusty everything
smelled.

Mary G,

Hi Dennis,

I check this group all the time, and yes, I am still around, but not found
anything to comment upon.   I have found a fun group to post in more
regularly, in fact a couple of them.

I post from time to time on soc.senior.issues which is a nice group, in case
anyone here might want to drop in there.   Interestingly enough we
occasionally get queries about alzheimers there too.

Hope all of you are well and happy :-)

A mental one, perhaps, but alas, not physically.

As some of you knew, my mom has been very ill with a rare cancer. She passed
away very late in the evening of September 14th. We were already in Denver
for the Jewish holiday, so there was no additional travel. She was buried on
Sunday and we took the red eye home to observe the Jewish mourning ritual of
shiva, where one stays home and holds visiting hours and prayer services.

Since then, its been Yom Kippur and trying to get over the flu-like cold my
husband brought with him from work. At least, unlike poor Doug, I didn't
have to deal with altitude adjustment on top of being sick, as he had it the
whole time we were in Denver.

Doug's company gave him the whole week off for bereavement leave, so he went
back to work yesterday. The kids went back to school last week, and are
still trying to get back into their routines (with varying degrees of
success).

It's a blessing she is no longer in pain.

Adelle

Hi...Well it's been busy here.   My SIL passed away about three weeks ago.
Oral cancer although she lucked out and had a heart attack before the cancer
got her.  She would have choked to death otherwise.  She was 83 and ready to
go.   In her right mind until the end.   She refused to go to the hospital
when she had the first heart attack and died peacefully at home.  She made
her own burial arrangements, gave away as much stuff as she could so her
kids wouldn't have to deal with it.  She got a new computer just a month
before she passed.   She decided that she needed to replace her old one and
what the hell?  E-mail was her savior since she couldn't talk(the cancer was
in her tongue).  We received e-mails up to day before she died.   Her
companion of several years stayed with her even though his home was 150
miles away.  He's 83 as well. They met on the internet sometime ago at Yahoo
personals.  Her mother didn't approve of him because of the way they met but
he is the nicest man.   Her mother passed away two years ago and I think she
finally changed her mind about him in the end.  He did a lot things for her.
Sometimes the best laid plans go a little astray.  SIL wanted to be cremated
and no service at all.   She hated funerals and professed to be an agnostic.
Toward the end she mellowed and told her kids (5 still living) they could
have a memorial visitation but that was all.   The kids followed her wishes
and then it gets a little weird.   The funeral home screwed up and didn't
get a death certificate and the body was lost for awhile.  After several
phone calls a daughter found it at a mini concrete and crematorium some 70
miles away.  It would have been funny if it hadn't been so appalling.  I
know my SIL would have laughed about it. After about two weeks, she was
cremated and buried beside her husband whom I never heard her say a good
word about .  She didn't care if it made her kids feel better.  We went to
the cemetery a few days ago where they placed the urn in the grave (no
service) and then we all went out for lunch which she paid for.  She would
have loved it.   She was fun loving, out spoken and modern in every way.
Never felt sorry for herself; lived and died on her own terms.  I miss her
terribly but I'm happy her suffering is over.
My mother is the same; hardly any changes just very minor little things.
She still calls time and temperature all the time   A local bank has had the
same number for it since the 1960's.   She's had it memorized a lot of
years.   Mom can't meet life or death on her own terms.   Dementia takes
away so much......June

I agree that this group has been kindof DEAD for a while.  Anyway, I'm
the guy who's mom is not sure if she has A's, dementia, a chemical
imbalance, or what.  I moved her from Montana to Calif. and am trying to
wean her off her Canadian boyfriend and on to her CA. relatives.

And her meds.

And her vitamins.

etc.

Anyway, as an update, mom seems pretty good in the assisted living
(minimal: meals only) with fam members coming around to make sure she's
ok.

btw, you skeptics, the automatic pill dispenser works like a charm and
she is taking her meds on time for a change and not grazing among the
futer meds any more...

bill