Hi everyone,
Well, it's been a few weeks and I thought I'd keep you updated....

Grandma has adjusted to Adult Daycare quite well.  She looks forward
to her volunteer job 'to help all those pitiful people'.  We've also
gotten her back into attending church with her friend-and visiting the
same friend one other day a week.  The difference in her alertness and
energy level is remarkable.  Not to say that we don't go through the
same routine on Daycare or 'visit your friend' day-as she goes through
the litany of complaints (I don't feel well...I can't make it....I just
want to go back to bed....why do I have to do this?).  I reassure and
divert and by the time my husband picks her up in the afternoon-she's
had a wonderful day with wonderful people.   Interesting in how this
can be so true but at the same time she is progressively more
confused, muddled, verbally garbled and sometimes just child-like.

Our names have pretty much been forgotten.  She refers to everyone by
his or her relationship and/or gender and/or size/description.  My
husband (her son) is 'that tall man'.  Our boys are 'the young one'
and 'the older one'.  I am 'that person in charge' (LOL).  Her number
one repeated question is "Where is everybody?"

I think it was Mary who wrote an excellent description of the loss of
ability to understand sequences.  It is so true--for everything from
the TV remote to making Koolaide.  She's recently had problems with
making sandwiches.  She'll have a plate with some bacon, tomato and
lettuce on it...but can't figure out the steps to put together a BLT.
But yet while there are still many things that she can do (simple,
routine things without multiple steps), the abilities that she's lost
seem greater.

Evelyn, you thought maybe we should get rid of the written 'daily
bowel list' because she'd obsess over it.  You were so right, she did
obsess, it was a bit maddening and we did get rid of it.  But we found
that doing without the list was far worse-both for her bowels and for
the absence of 'structure' that it provided.  Heck, she even asked for
it back!
So I hope you don't think I'm crazy to say that we've returned to the
list!  She reads it out loud to me frequently throughout the day.
I'll say 'That's right, now's the time for your Metamucil wafers' or
'Don't forget your prune juice!'.   She's pleasantly obsessed with it
and her bowels are movin' fine.  I hold no illusions about our little
system lasting for any length of time, but I'll enjoy it while it
lasts!

I do have a couple questions-
In addition to her Medicare and supplemental insurance, we are
applying for VA benefits (she was in the Navy during WWII).  My
understanding is that if she is approved, they could help pay for
daycare-and maybe long term care?

And about incontinence...basically, how does it start?  Grandma has had
several episodes over the past few months.  It's always at night.  She
gets up to go to the bathroom and doesn't make it in time.  She
changes her clothes and washes out her wet underwear and pajamas in
the sink.  She's not oblivious...she's embarrassed and worried that
something is wrong.  I told her that maybe she was deeply asleep and
by the time she woke up, she had to go so badly that she couldn't hold
it.  I talked her into buying some Depends-type pads.  She was used to
wearing panty-liners so she liked the idea.  Of course, she forgot to
wear them-and had another 'accident' earlier this week.

So as I write this, we're doing good.  The weather is gorgeous-74
degrees and sunny.  Grandma is napping (uh, oh!...nevermind) and I'm
about to make dinner (chicken, if you must know).

Hope each and every one of you are doing well!
diane