I have been disengaging

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J J - 30 Jul 2007 01:33 GMT

I have already been disengaging from mom I have been going every other
day while she is in the nursing home for respite care, and today I went
to have lunch with her.she didn't even put up a fess when I said I will
be back tomorrow. I plan to tell her that being that she is improving so
well that the doc is going to try and let live in apt for more therapy
until she can get well enough to go home with me and that it may take
awhile. I Plan to go to the new place tomorrow and decorate her apt with
her recliner her own bedding and I am going to hang her curtains up ect.
so I am excited I plan to volunteer to help there and if she gets use to
it she will probably start to call it home ---then I am going to get
into the support group that they have there. Little by little I will
accept it as well as her too.
thanks so much will be back to vent and let you know how things are
going. It still will be a long road to haul.
JJ

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sweetpickleNO@SPAMknology.net - 30 Jul 2007 04:25 GMT

Good luck JJ. Let us hear how it goes.
Gwen L

>I have already been disengaging from mom I have been going every other
> day while she is in the nursing home for respite care, and today I went
[quoted text clipped - 11 lines]
> going. It still will be a long road to haul.
> JJ

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Nina Pretty Ballerina - 30 Jul 2007 12:33 GMT

good for you, JJ. I hope the new road that you and your mum are now
travelling is happy for you both

chris in oz

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Tumbleweed - 31 Jul 2007 15:03 GMT

> I plan to tell her that being that she is improving so
> well that the doc is going to try and let live in apt for more therapy
> until she can get well enough to go home with me and that it may take
> awhile.

May I suggest you DONT do that. If she doesn't like the sound of it, then
she may cause a ruckuss, and if she is happy with that you have gained
nothing since she will anyway forget.

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Tumbleweed

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Evelyn Ruut - 31 Jul 2007 16:51 GMT

>> I plan to tell her that being that she is improving so
>> well that the doc is going to try and let live in apt for more therapy
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> she may cause a ruckuss, and if she is happy with that you have gained
> nothing since she will anyway forget.

When Ida was in the nursing home she kept asking to go home. I told her we
would, when she got well. Of course she asked if she was going to get well.
I said, that we didn't know, but she should do whatever they asked her to do
(physical therapy, take her meds, etc.) so she could try. That seemed to
settle her down, but of course she didn't remember any of it, and would ask
the same question 5 seconds later.

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Best Regards,

Evelyn

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Tumbleweed - 31 Jul 2007 19:37 GMT

>>> I plan to tell her that being that she is improving so
>>> well that the doc is going to try and let live in apt for more therapy
[quoted text clipped - 11 lines]
> That seemed to settle her down, but of course she didn't remember any of
> it, and would ask the same question 5 seconds later.

I think the difference is that JJ seemed to be suggesting she would do it
pro-actively, eg without being prompted by her mother. Of course, if she
asks, then that is the right answer to give, thats what I say to my dad.

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Tumbleweed

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tumbleweednews at hotmail dot com

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Mary_Gordon@tvo.org - 31 Jul 2007 19:41 GMT

What is the Yiddish expression ..."Don't ask, don't tell." i.e. let
the sleeping dogs lie, and if they wake up, get their attention on
something else!

You have to avoid planting any ideas in their head which will lead to
a problem later. My mother in law wanted to go home too, but to her
parents house.

M.

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