Hi Gwen,

Like Tumbleweed said, "welcome to the club nobody wants to join" :-)

Keep an eye out for the medication.   A lot of people with alzheimers get
their medications mixed up, because they forget they already took their pill
that day, and will end up doubling up, or thinking they already took it,
will skip that day.   That happened quite early in my mother in laws
illness, and it was part of what prompted us to take her to live with us.

About the other issues; the only problem that the sleepiness might present
that I can see, would be if he got his days and nights mixed up and was
getting up at 3 in the morning wanting breakfast, or something like that.
Because of that kind of mixup, we used to try to somewhat discourage napping
in the day, but everyone is different, and if he doesn't do that, it
shouldn't be a problem.

Daycare is wonderful.   I have no idea how we would have managed without it.
It kept my mother in law occupied, and got her out of our hair for a couple
of hours each day, which was a real blessing to us.   I really believe that
getting up and dressed and out of the house for that couple of hours, made a
difference and kept her cognizant longer.

About the arguing and the moroseness, I don't know if you would consider him
"depressed" but if he is, there are meds that can help with that.   It is a
rotten illness, and I think there are some who actually do realize how bad
it is.  Your dad may be one.   My mother in law kept saying she wanted to
kill herself, but once we got her on some antidepressants it did help a lot.

We loved hearing the stories from her youth too.   My husband was fascinated
by all of the stuff he'd never heard before.   It is one of the few good
things, but it also was the source of some of her worst delusions later on.

Good luck, and don't hesitate to ask anything here, or just to vent.

Tell him the Dr called and requested the new appointment or that he needs a
checkup in order to get his medicines refilled.  These both work for us.

Someone needs to be counting his pills, at least weekly, to make sure he is
taking the correct amount on the correct schedule. Another reason for the
headaches may be taking too many pills. Often the dementia person can not
remember or has false memories of whether or not they took their pills,
hence the checking on them every ten minutes. The frequent checking is
probably a red flag that he needs his medicines doled out at regular times
by someone else. When early on in the disease process we used to find bowls
of hidden pills or find that she had taken multiple days worth, so I'd pay
close attention to this, despite any complaints he may have. Also, the
Exelon might be causing the headaches if these are a new development.

Even after all these years of pill taking, if asked my MIL still says "I
don't take pills do I?".

Yes, my MIL loves to reminisce about when she was 11 years old and and would
spend the day herding turkeys on her horse, Pal,  along the Big Horn River.

Welcome to the group,          AW

Gwen,

You might want to record these stories or write them down.  The
time may not be too distant when these memories will no longer
be accessible.

   Alan

I was thinking about that too.  My Mom suffered from terrible
headaches for years before and during her dementia.  No
specific cause was ever found, but she did have high blood
pressure and high cholesterol.

In her forties she had an accident on a ladder and hit her
head.  We also wondered if the accident had anything to do
with her later headaches and her dementia.

But, as is so often the case, the doctors were not able to
make a diagnosis.  We still have a huge amount to learn in
medicine.

   Alan

Hi.....My two cents here.  Mom always had low blood pressure, exercised
regularly and really took care of herself.  She did have migraines when she
was younger.  I was just remarking to my husband that I can't remember her
ever being in the hospital.  I know she was when I was born but that
was---well lets just say many decades ago.  Because she went through early
menopause, she did take hormones for many, many years.  Who knows what
causes vascular dementia.   But I know in Mom's case it wasn't any kind of
obvious heart problem.....June

I didn't say cause though. I said triggered.

Vascular dementia is more common in people with cardiovascular disease.
However, the fact that the first symptoms became apparent shortly after
his 3 heart attacks is what leads us to believe that it triggered his
vascular dementia. The state of his vascular system was at that time so
compromised that as far as we're concerned that was the trigger event.

Cheers, Gwen