Hi all,
The past two days have been interesting to say the least.  Grandma
went to the tour of the daycare with a happy outlook and truly seemed
to enjoy herself, seemed interested and liked the idea of volunteering-
she even told them about her years volunteering at a local hospital.
But by the time we got home-she was freaked out, angry, suspicious.
Said she didn't want to and wasn't going to go there.  Accused me and
hubby of trying to get rid of her and trying to 'do something'.  Said
she wanted to pack her bags and go back to Central City (the small
town a couple states away in which she grew up).  She wasn't saying it
in a histrionic manner either-she was serious, as if doing so were a
reasonable possibility.  When hubby came home, she cornered him.  My
husband is a great guy but he kind of communicates like a drill
sergeant-especially when cornered.  He had good intentions but it
ended up badly.  The next morning, grandma is in a cloud of misery.
She corners me so I use every ounce of my training in therapeutic
communication and experience with demented patients over my career.  I
was kind, I was empathetic, I listened, I reassured, I diverted.
Luckily, later that afternoon, my 16-year old son saw grandma as she
had her purse and was headed off down the road.  Running away to
somewhere.  I sent him after her (because I knew she'd be angry at me)
and he coaxed her back to the house.  She wouldn't come in, but sat
outside on a garden bench.  Eventually she came back in.
She told me she's going to call 1) her daughter and 2) her nephew and
3) her brother (who is dead, btw) and tell on us.  I did send a 'heads
up' email to the living-but otherwise just kept being pleasant and
reassuring and trying to divert.
I keep hearing that song "You ain't seen nothing yet" playing thru my
head.  I know the whole idea of the adult center was a major stressor-
hence the fun couple days we've had.  In hindsight, I shouldn't have
told her anything-just kept everything in the here and now.  I'm
working hard on having foresight instead of hindsight.  I do read
every one of your replies!  Thanks in advance for not saying 'I told
you so'.
diane