Phew, do I remember this phase with my MIL! 25 calls a day, since she
couldn't remember she'd already called to ask a question. She had a
phone with big speed dial buttons for a while, labelled with family
member names - and she'd be totally thrown for a loop if she got an
answering machine. With time, she'd even got totally confused if
someone unexpected answered the phone - i.e. she'd try to call her
sister, her brother in law of 50 years would pick up the phone, and
poor Doll would just have no idea who he was, no matter what he said
(Doll! Its ERIC!!! YOUR BROTHER IN LAW!!!) .

Okay, onto the problem at hand. I take it she lives alone. I know this
is not your question - and not what you want to hear - but from
experience - think bigger picture about what is going on. The real
answer to your problem is ... its time to have someone with her 24/7
so she's supervised and supported.  If she's forgetting how to use the
phone, how to hang it up, take that as a sign when it comes to working
all and any the appliances in her house, the plumbing, the furnace. If
she can't use the phone, contemplate her ability to react
appropriately in an emergency, remember to lock the door, to take her
meds (or to take them only once).

When my mother in law started losing the ability to use the phone was
also the time disasters started to pile up. We were focussed on the
phone, and the real problem was living alone (even with a lot of
supports, like meals on wheels, a housekeeper 1/2 days 5 days a week
etc. etc.).

I'd call the phone a good proxy for the canary in the coal mine.

Mary

Phew, do I remember this phase with my MIL! 25 calls a day, since she
couldn't remember she'd already called to ask a question. She had a
phone with big speed dial buttons for a while, labelled with family
member names - and she'd be totally thrown for a loop if she got an
answering machine. With time, she'd even got totally confused if
someone unexpected answered the phone - i.e. she'd try to call her
sister, her brother in law of 50 years would pick up the phone, and
poor Doll would just have no idea who he was, no matter what he said
(Doll! Its ERIC!!! YOUR BROTHER IN LAW!!!) .

Okay, onto the problem at hand. I take it she lives alone. I know this
is not your question - and not what you want to hear - but from
experience - think bigger picture about what is going on. The real
answer to your problem is ... its time to have someone with her 24/7
so she's supervised and supported.  If she's forgetting how to use the
phone, how to hang it up, take that as a sign when it comes to working
all and any the appliances in her house, the plumbing, the furnace. If
she can't use the phone, contemplate her ability to react
appropriately in an emergency, remember to lock the door, to take her
meds (or to take them only once).

When my mother in law started losing the ability to use the phone was
also the time disasters started to pile up. We were focussed on the
phone, and the real problem was living alone (even with a lot of
supports, like meals on wheels, a housekeeper 1/2 days 5 days a week
etc. etc.).

I'd call the phone a good proxy for the canary in the coal mine.

Mary

Phew, do I remember this phase with my MIL! 25 calls a day, since she
couldn't remember she'd already called to ask a question. She had a
phone with big speed dial buttons for a while, labelled with family
member names - and she'd be totally thrown for a loop if she got an
answering machine. With time, she'd even got totally confused if
someone unexpected answered the phone - i.e. she'd try to call her
sister, her brother in law of 50 years would pick up the phone, and
poor Doll would just have no idea who he was, no matter what he said
(Doll! Its ERIC!!! YOUR BROTHER IN LAW!!!) .

Okay, onto the problem at hand. I take it she lives alone. I know this
is not your question - and not what you want to hear - but from
experience - think bigger picture about what is going on. The real
answer to your problem is ... its time to have someone with her 24/7
so she's supervised and supported.  If she's forgetting how to use the
phone, how to hang it up, take that as a sign when it comes to working
all and any the appliances in her house, the plumbing, the furnace. If
she can't use the phone, contemplate her ability to react
appropriately in an emergency, remember to lock the door, to take her
meds (or to take them only once).

When my mother in law started losing the ability to use the phone was
also the time disasters started to pile up. We were focussed on the
phone, and the real problem was living alone (even with a lot of
supports, like meals on wheels, a housekeeper 1/2 days 5 days a week
etc. etc.).

I'd call the phone a good proxy for the canary in the coal mine.

Mary

Phew, do I remember this phase with my MIL! 25 calls a day, since she
couldn't remember she'd already called to ask a question. She had a
phone with big speed dial buttons for a while, labelled with family
member names - and she'd be totally thrown for a loop if she got an
answering machine. With time, she'd even got totally confused if
someone unexpected answered the phone - i.e. she'd try to call her
sister, her brother in law of 50 years would pick up the phone, and
poor Doll would just have no idea who he was, no matter what he said
(Doll! Its ERIC!!! YOUR BROTHER IN LAW!!!) .

Okay, onto the problem at hand. I take it she lives alone. I know this
is not your question - and not what you want to hear - but from
experience - think bigger picture about what is going on. The real
answer to your problem is ... its time to have someone with her 24/7
so she's supervised and supported.  If she's forgetting how to use the
phone, how to hang it up, take that as a sign when it comes to working
all and any the appliances in her house, the plumbing, the furnace. If
she can't use the phone, contemplate her ability to react
appropriately in an emergency, remember to lock the door, to take her
meds (or to take them only once).

When my mother in law started losing the ability to use the phone was
also the time disasters started to pile up. We were focussed on the
phone, and the real problem was living alone (even with a lot of
supports, like meals on wheels, a housekeeper 1/2 days 5 days a week
etc. etc.).

I'd call the phone a good proxy for the canary in the coal mine.

Mary

Phew, do I remember this phase with my MIL! 25 calls a day, since she
couldn't remember she'd already called to ask a question. She had a
phone with big speed dial buttons for a while, labelled with family
member names - and she'd be totally thrown for a loop if she got an
answering machine. With time, she'd even got totally confused if
someone unexpected answered the phone - i.e. she'd try to call her
sister, her brother in law of 50 years would pick up the phone, and
poor Doll would just have no idea who he was, no matter what he said
(Doll! Its ERIC!!! YOUR BROTHER IN LAW!!!) .

Okay, onto the problem at hand. I take it she lives alone. I know this
is not your question - and not what you want to hear - but from
experience - think bigger picture about what is going on. The real
answer to your problem is ... its time to have someone with her 24/7
so she's supervised and supported.  If she's forgetting how to use the
phone, how to hang it up, take that as a sign when it comes to working
all and any the appliances in her house, the plumbing, the furnace. If
she can't use the phone, contemplate her ability to react
appropriately in an emergency, remember to lock the door, to take her
meds (or to take them only once).

When my mother in law started losing the ability to use the phone was
also the time disasters started to pile up. We were focussed on the
phone, and the real problem was living alone (even with a lot of
supports, like meals on wheels, a housekeeper 1/2 days 5 days a week
etc. etc.).

I'd call the phone a good proxy for the canary in the coal mine.

Mary

Erial,

Please consider that if she is this confused with a phone, there are
probably a thousand other little things you can't see that she can't manage
either.   You are just SEEing the phone stuff, and maybe not seeing the
others.

My mother in law left pots on the stove till the handles burnt off.   She
turned on the water faucet, and for some funny reason forgot how to turn it
off.  She just kept turning it and turning it, and it didn't go off because
she was turning it the wrong way.   She walked up to the store in a
neighborhood she'd been living in for 40 years, and got lost for hours.
She forgot that she'd taken her pills that day and take them all over again,
making her sick.

She forgot that she left a pot of soup sitting on the stove for 3 days....
she told me she "only just made it," but the stuff growing on the surface
proved it was not the truth, besides we had been there 3 days previous when
she DID just make it.   It was still there 3 days later with god knows what
stuff on the top.   She was ready to heat it up and eat more of it.
Ultimately she forgot how to cook anything.

She forgot how to shower herself or to change her clothes.

I am not saying this is all true in the case of your MIL, but I am saying
that the phone is only a symptom of the changes this illness is making in
her brain.   It is time you considered having someone with her all the time.

Don't wait for a disaster like an accidental fire, getting lost, overdosing,
or other things that can happen when they don't remember ordinary life
issues anymore.

<snip>

yep, as the other posters have said, you are now at the start of a long,
downward, *inevitable* decline (assuming she has Az and thats why you are
posting here). The phone is a diversion *for you*, preventing you
understanding the actual problem, which is that she can no longer be left
alone, and you need to focus on getting her into care, or getting carers
(emphasis on the plural) to live with her 24x7.

Forget getting some new phone, that wont solve the phone problem, she wont
be able to work that because she'lll have to learn something new, and even
if miraclulously it fixes it for a few weeks, soon she'll be back where she
was. This happened with my father before the clue bat smacked me in the
head, as the gradual accumulation of bizzarre incidents finally built up
enough.

Example, taking exactly what you are considering now, 'a technological fix',
I got him a mobile phone so if he got lost while he was out, he could call.
Set up so he just had to press one button, that was all, couldn't get much
simple than that, press one button, right?

He never, ever, ever, used it. Reasons included;
Forgot he had the phone with him.
Forgot how to use it (forgot he had to press the one button).
Forget which button to use.
Forgot how to talk into /listen to a phone.
Forgot what a phone was.

So, focus on the essentials, if your MIL cant use a phone anymore, she can
no longer be left alone. Thats the bottom line. You can fix that now before
something unpleasant happens, or wait for something unpleasant to happen,
when the clue bat will finally strike you about the head. Sorry to be so
harsh, but we all have been there, done that, and try and short circuit the
process for newcomers....welcome to the club no one wants to join :-)

There is no device that can hang up a phone automatically.  So long as
the receiver is off the hook, the phone can't receive incoming calls.
My stepfather didn't hang the phone up right for 20 years, and if there
was anything we could have done about it, we would have. I agree with
the other posters.  If she can't remember to hang a phone up right, I
wouldn't trust her around other, more dangerous appliances.

sorry to sound like a broken record, but everyone in the group
who has been there and done that says the same thing i'll tell
you:  she won't be able to use it, and the phone is not the
problem, your denial is.

like everyone else, i'll tell you that she's no longer safe at
home by herself.  we all had to accept that, and either place our
loved one in a care facility (start looking now, even if you will
not need it immediately, because most good places have waiting
lists!), got them 24x7 live-in care (hired or family), or moved
the LO into our homes.

if she has not already been diagnosed, you need to get her to the
doc and referred for geriatric neuropsychiatric exam so that if
it's due to a treatable condition it can be treated.  if she has
been diagnosed with AD, you need to face the fact that she simply
cannot be safe if she is left alone, and it's time to deal with
it, no matter how unpleasant it will be.  

please buy a copy of "the 36 hour day" and read it.  everyone
with a relative that has a dementia should have a copy.