Hello everyone!

My husband and I read all your responses to my previous post and had a
long talk about planning ahead-starting with adult daycare options to
beginning the search for residential care.  He is an action-oriented
guy so he had no real problem with either.  I am the thinker and
planner-and wanted to talk about the whys and hows and potential
consequences.

The next day I went to the local adult services center (affiliated
with the local rehab hospital and part of a consortium of community
health services).  I wasn't able to get a tour but did get a package
of information.  I have an appointment tomorrow for the tour.  The
short time I was there in the lobby, I observed several caregivers
coming to pick up their loved ones.  The reception staff knew each one
by name and greeted them on sight.  They used a walkie-talkie to call
back to the nursing staff and tell them who was ready to be picked
up.  One lady said "Be sure that she's gone to the bathroom first!"
Another elderly gentleman was sitting on a bench and had a bit of a
blank stare.  But I said 'hello' and he slowly met my gaze and said
'hello' back.

This weekend, I took grandma to the mall to buy a couple nightgowns
and some tennis shoes.  We had lunch together.  A pretty normal outing-
leading and guiding her to the pajama section, picking her size,
narrowing the selection down to two items, leading her to the dressing
room, frequent reminders to close the dressing room door, tying her
shoes for her, helping her pay, ordering food for her, encouraging her
to eat.  My husband says that we are like frogs in a beaker of water
slowly being heated by a flame-we don't recognize that the water in
which we are sitting is getting hotter and hotter.  Yesterday, I went
to a bookstore and bought "The 36-hour day".  And today I took grandma
to the doctor for a regular checkup.  I was a nurse at this practice
several years ago so I was able to stealthily get a physician
signature on the physical exam form and have grandma get a TB-skin
test as part of the enrollment process for daycare.

We think the 'volunteer' idea for getting her to go to daycare might
work.  I'll keep you all posted.  Thanks again and again for sharing
your ideas and experiences.....
diane