my mom is from california and i have lived in Hawaii for over 20
years.. we got along but always had our problems, she never agreed
totally how i lived my life.
as the past five years have progressed she has had many problems and
now has been diagnosed with Alzheimerslewy disease.
she called me from calif. and wanted to live with me as she needs more
care. She knew my circumstances in my household that i baby sit my
four grandchildren during the day, but that my husband and i are the
only ones actually living in our house. Our four children have moved
out. Yet it can be very busy, she still insisted that she would like
to come live with me.
Now she insists I told her to come live with me and its very difficult
because my house is so busy. I tell her she knew that yet she says she
never knew.
I have four other siblings but none are in the position to care for
her. I have an oldest sister that has left the family, and carries a
hate for my mother and won't even speak to her.  When the doctors ask
her where she wants to live she brings up the missing daughter, I know
deep down she thought that is who she wanted to live with. But it will
never be.
She knows I am the only one who will take care of her and sometimes is
so appreciative and then complains how she doesn"t like being here.
Is this normal or should i tell her to make a decision as to what she
wants, however the only other choice she has is a nursing home? And is
she really capable of making this decision?
She needs 24 care, but is really unhappy because she hates where her
life has ended up. She used to be so active and self sufficient.
I guess becides the above questions, i would like to know is this how
it is they are just sometimes happy where they are and sometimes not.
And what do i do when she complains so intently about living here, but
she was just as unhappy where she was in Calif.
I hope this all makes sense what i am saying, I just need to talk to
someone who is in the same position.

thanks
connie in hawaii