Norm, I know you are upset, but most assisted living places have
limits on the care they provide. The rules vary.

The first one my mother in law was in was not secure, so they expected
the residents to be oriented, not be at risk for wandering, be
ambulatory, able to tell time, be continent etc. They offered
assistance with bathing, and dressing.

When that wasn't enough, mother in law had to go to a special
Alzheimer's unit. They offered more help - it was a locked ward, could
deal with incontinence. However, they expected the person to be
amulatory, and able to eat on their own. They would give a person lots
of extra time, prepare soft foods, and even coax the person - but they
just weren't staffed to deal with someone who needed complete hand
feeding and supervision to prevent choking.

When my mother in law stopped walking, she had to move to the heavy
care floor - essentially the "nursing home" section. They were
equipped to deal with people who were totally dependent and could do
almost nothing for themselves - special equipment, specially trained
staff, and a higher staff to resident ratio.

Your grandmother is at the point where the place she is now really
can't provide the care she needs to stay well and safe. Losing the
ability to chew and swallow properly is part of the disease. Be glad
the assisted living facility staff know their limits.

A dear friend lost her mother who was in mid to later AD - she was on
a soft diet and she was being hand fed. The person feeding her was not
paying close attention, and my friend's mother was chipmonking - just
keeping the food in her mouth and not swallowing - and then she
aspirated the food, and died before help could get there. She was
killed by banana pudding. So the problems your grandmother are having
ARE potentially a real problem, and its better to go somewhere really
equipped to look after her, than to stay where she is now.

M