Nana, I feel so bad for you.   I can imagine you feel pretty down about it
all at this point.  I just had a couple of thoughts, and will outline what I
would do if I were you.

Have you really sat down with her doctor and discussed the situation at
length?   Did you tell him about everything.... like even the bad stuff?   I
think that ought to be your next step.  Maybe you could write it all down in
the form of a letter and bring it with you?

Remember, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.  Don't just sit back and let it
all happen, be pro-active.   It's the only way I know to get something
accomplished.

Best Regards,
Evelyn

Nana, I'll agree with Evelyn that you really need to discuss this AT
LENGTH with your Mother's Doctor.

And I'll also ask you this - have you consulted with a Geriatric
Psychiatrist?

I'll tell you this.  When my Mother first began suffering from
dementia (probably due to mini-strokes), we also didn't know what to
do or where to turn.  I am the only child, but luckily I have a great
Wife who really helped me a lot.

It was a social worker who recommended an EXCELLENT Geriatric
Psychiatrist to us for my Mother.  He was incredible, and as it turns
out, he's very well known in the field of "Forensic Psychiatry", which
I had no idea at the time.  I was just glad we had him.  He even
returned my emails after my Mother's death, when I had questions about
my Aunt who was diagnosed with alzheimers.

Because of him, we probably got a good number of extra months with my
Mother.  He didn't relegate our phone calls to only his receptionist,
he'd actually speak with us on the phone between appointments.  The
man was absolutely great.

I'd suggest you at least seek out the help of a social worker who's
dealt with this previously.  They may be an excellent resource for you
for things such as good Geriatric Psychiatrists in your area, senior
day cares or people who may be able to come to your home during the
day for an affordable price (such as we used - another recommendation
from the social worker).

Although it feels like you and your family are the only ones who are
going through this, just as it does with many of us, (un)fortunately,
you're NOT the only one.  There is help, you just need to go to the
right places to find it.

Let us know how it goes...

Charles R. Whealton
Charles Whealton @ pleasedontspam.com