It has to do with Medicaid which is a federal program.   If she comes to
live in your area, you will probably do best by consulting a local lawyer.
We used a local elder law specialist, who helped us enormously.  I have no
idea how we would have managed without his input.   There were certain
documents that we absolutely needed or it would have been a legal nightmare.
Also just the Medicaid application paperwork alone, was a hassle.  He helped
us with that too.   Even if you are paying privately, many nursing homes
want Medicaid application paperwork in place, because few have enough to pay
privately indefinitely, and when the money runs out, they want assurance
that the process runs smoothly towards getting the person onto Medicaid.

In our case, my mother in law lived two hours away from us, and it was very
difficult dealing with trying to clean out and sell the house and take care
of her at the same time.   We managed, though with a couple of close calls,
not being able to get home in time to meet her after day care.  Fortunately
there were a couple of local people who helped us out.   One time we were
stuck for several hours in traffic, going crazy and worrying ourselves sick.
Believe it or not, we actually once enlisted our realtor to come to the
house and sit to wait for her to arrive home!   We raced like crazy, and we
actually pulled into the driveway the same time as he did!

It is very time consuming to go through a lifetime of possessions, photos,
paperwork, and just plain junk.   If you need to use four hours of travel
time, not accounting for even minor delays, it can be a real juggling act.

But I digress here.   All I can say is that elderlaw is a specific specialty
in the law.   Not just any lawyer can handle it to your best advantage.
The preservation of at least some assets can be a godsend.   You really do
need advice on what you can use the persons money for and what you can't.

Believe me when I tell you that alzheimers is a strange illness, and it can
take strange turns.   All of a sudden you can end up really NEEDING nursing
home care for your loved one, and if you haven't done things right, you can
be really caught up short.

In our case, my mother in law began losing her balance.   She would fall
very easily and need to be picked up and guided and held upright.   It was
very difficult.  We were both exhausted from getting up with her several
times a night, cleaning her up and getting her back into bed.   Then it
would go on all day too.   We were zombies after several years of caring for
her, and had to hurry up and get important paperwork and formalities in
place in order to place her.

We took care of her for about 3 and a half years.    She was not too bad
when we first started caring for her.  She could do a lot for herself at
that time, but was like a little baby by the time we had to place her.
Don't forget that it is a progressive illness and that it doesn't get
better, it gets worse.   You are going to need lots of help and good advice
and support.   This newsgroup is good, but get into a local alzheimer
support group in your town too.   See if you can find an elder law lawyer in
your local phone book, or a referral from a friend.   All those things
helped us so much.

If she will be coming to you, you need to know what the rules are in
your state as well as the state she lives in now, as both sets of rules
matter.
http://www.cms.hhs.gov/MedicaidGenInfo/
http://www.financial-planning.com/pubs/fpi/20060222103.html

Its incredibly convoluted and you need to plan for it so you can
protect the assets as much as possible.
The loockback period is now 5 years. Get a lawyer involved - the
average family that does that saves as much as 60K.

You may not be able to care for her in your home as things progress, so
start planning for nursing home care right now, even if you can't
imagine needing it.

Mary G.