<snip>

Joanje,

Sounds like its time to move your mother to a specilaised alzheimers unit,
rather than assisted care, because in assisted care she is expected to do
many things herself, and from what you say, she cannot do this any more for
key things like taking medication.

also, please turn off your 'cap locks' key, typing in upper case is hard to
read and is considered 'SHOUTING'.

============================
My wife and I had this same type of
behavior to deal with when her mother
was living with us. We came to a point
when we could no longer deal with it
and I can certainly sympathize with the
staff in your Assisted Living facility.

The only solution we had was to admit
her to a nursing home. Once she became
adjusted to the new surroundings and
her meds were adjusted she became
more managable. And of course the NH
staff was trained to deal with AD patients.

The day may come when your mother no
longer recognizes you so be prepared for
it. My wife's brothers quit visiting because
they just could not bear the thought that
their mother did not know who they were.

Alzheimer's is a viscious disease that
robs us of our loved ones and all we can
do is try to help them in any way we can.

Hi Joanie,

You have gotten good advice from the other posters who have replied, and I
just wanted to add my endorsement to what they said.    Sounds like it is
time for her to go into a place with better supervision.    There are
medications that can help too, but you need to talk to the doctor about it.

Also, please don't use all capitals, it is considered as though you were
shouting at people.   I am sure that isn't how you meant it, but better to
release the caps lock and use regular lettering when posting here or on any
of the newsgroups to avoid offending anyone, as I am sure it isn't your
intent.

Many of us have been in the same situation with loved ones, and you will
find plenty of sympathy here for what you are going through.   It can be
difficult as we all know.  Funny how it sometimes helps to have friends to
talk to about it.    My father is also 93 and he absolutely refuses to go
into assisted living (even though he needs it)  and imagines he is going to
be living independently until he magically passes away without a moment of
incapacitation.    He has been a difficult man all his life, so this isn't
attributable to alzheimers, just more of what he has always been like.

I'm sure she is afraid to be in the room alone at night - she probably
experiences the same sort of anxiety when left for even a short time during
the day as well, but just doesn't have enough time to get as worked up about
it.

As my MIL progressed, she got to the point where if she could not see
someone, they did not exist. She couldn't remember that  I was with her, for
example, and that I had told her that I was just going into another room for
a second and would be right back.

It caused her a great deal of anxiety at times, although there were rather
funny (for me) moments as well, when we would have long conversations about
'alone' ... she would insist that she was alone, in spite of my observations
that if she was talking to ME to tell me about it, obviously she was not
alone. "Yes, I am. I'm all alone and I don't know what I should do. What
should I do about it?"

My MIL now actually has her bed in our living room, and we quite
deliberately put her to bed a while before we intend to go to ours - it
works well for us, as once asleep she sleeps through the night; usually we
are up before her as well - so in her reality she is not alone.

Your mother might well find a shared room in a nursing home a huge relief.