Dana,  Like AD itself, everyone is going to be different.  It depends so
much on what is working and how far along they are.  Not everyone is at
the same level when they go into a group home or other facility.  Even
following the staging  is only a guide, they're each very individual.
The reality that has helped me the most is that only "this" moment has
meaning.  It may be influenced by what  just happened -or not.  The
on-off switch is truly unpredictable after their environment
changes....but gradually you can look forward to a lessening of the
troublesome behaviors.  Also what helped-even though it is difficult to
do-is play politician and don't answer the questions or react to their
acting up.  Distract, distract, distract and redirect.  And if that
doesn't help-either leave (if you're getting upset) or try just sitting
down someplace and becoming inert.  It is an eye-opening experience to
just sit there and watch.  I did that when my MIL insisted I take her to
her mother.  She left in a huff to find the way herself- and in the
process was distracted by another resident asking where the money was.
They each had their own "story" to play out over and over.  Sometimes I
would just agree---yep, we have to get gas in the car so we can go see
your mother.  Another time, around Halloween she asked me if I'd brought
my car so we could drive to her mother and I told her no, I'd brought my
broom and there wasn't room for her.  She accepted it as fact and
changed the topic herself.  I did find during this time (she did not
know who I was, just someone who knew her) that she got very upset if I
interacted with other residents or talked with the help.  Thus, what
worked was to just sit down and fade into the woodwork.

To answer your question, we went away for 2 weeks immediately after
placing her(already had had a respite stay 2 months before) and when I
came back she did not know who I was and thought she'd always been
there.  No clue of living with us a year or in California for 40 years.
 It was all pretty much gone.  Sad.....but now 4 years later it is home
to her and she cannot comprehend anything away from there.

Best wishes.  It's hard to go thru, but hang in there.
Beth in Maryland

Took my dad 2 weeks before he stopped trying to escape, that included him
ahving to be sedated several times.YMMV.

Words of encouragement?  Whats the alternative? This is the least worst
thing you can do, stick with it.

Everyone is different.  My mother has been in her memory care for 9
months.  She has been pretty miserable there and after 5 months, has
started to ask to go "home".  "Home" really means pre-alzheimer's.  The
only thing that has alieviated my mothers anxiety, depression, fear and
anger is medication, Zoloft and Seroquel.

You've gotten great replies and suggestions from everyone.

My Mom was frantic for about three weeks after her placement.
After that, and for as long as she was still able to talk, she
continued ask us to take her out.  Each time we took her
out for lunch or dinner or to see family, she complained about
going back and made a fuss at the door.  But she was never
frantic again and was not unmanageable.

I really like Beth's suggestions for how to deal with it.
Also, just giving your Mom emotional support will help
get both of you through it.

Good luck.

   Alan

Dana, just curious...  Is your Mom on the Xyprexa that I believe you
mentioned she would be on?  As people have mentioned it's different for
everybody.

In the case of my Aunt who suffered from alzheimers, I believe it was
basically a matter of weeks that she kept asking when she could go
home.  She spiraled down hill so fast, I had never seen anything like
it.  That may be why it was only 2 or 3 weeks (to the best of my own
memory) until she stopped asking.

My Uncle who had pics disease fought tooth and nail and was great at
fooling doctors.  Finally, they got him into his group home and I think
after the right mixture of medication and several weeks, he knew he was
there to stay and also stopped asking.

Unfortunately, it's never happy.  You already know that now.  I'm just
going to hope that the people running the group home manage to get you
some good news.  That's the best you can hope for.  It's draining and
it leaves you feeling powerless.

As somebody mentioned, the people running the home have probably dealt
with this before.

Best of luck...

Charles R. Whealton
Charles Whealton @ pleasedontspam.com