I used a Day Care provided by a Catholic organization until my wife's
Alzheimer's was advanced to a stage where she was uncontrollable. I
found it very helpful as it allowed her to interact with other people
and gave me a rest from keeping an eye on her all the time. The people
were kind and tolerant and worked well in distracting her from her
desire to 'go home' that she believed was like 30 years ago. Good luck
and I think your Dad will enjoy it... as long as he may.

I had my mother in law in an adult daycare center for several years.   I
recommend it highly.  It gave me a break and gave her something constructive
to do with her days besides sit in front of the TV at home and grouse to me
how she wanted to go home etc. etc.   Daycare saved my sanity.   She
complained about it all the time, but the people there loved her and when
she didn't know I was around, I saw that she liked them too.   The center
was run by really dedicated nice people who loved the old folks and made
every day something special.   Every holiday was made a big deal of.  Every
clients birthday was cause for a party.   It was a good thing..... :-)

My mom was in the Intergenerational Day Care Program at Condell Hospital
in Libertyville, Illinois from a few months ago up till last week, when
my brother took her to California to put her in care there.  Mom really
enjoyed the program, and it sure helped take a big weight off my
brother's mind, not having to worry where mom was or what she was doing.
 The "intergenerational" part was that there's a kid's day care
associated with the program, and the kids and the old folks get to
interact.  Really good for both, though mom thought all the kids were
orphans.  But she always liked and worked with kids, so it was a really
nice thing for her.

Anyway, our experience with daycare has been entirely positive.  Hope
yours is, too.

Dana

Thanks to all who have replied.

I guess really what I'm most concerned about is Dad knowing that I'm
"dumping" him.  I know that's not really what I'm doing....but I feel like
he's going to think that I am. That doesn't make much sense given the fact
that he has no idea who I am... I guess I'm feeling guilty that I can't be
all and everything to him.. ..all the time 24/7.  I know that's
unreasonable, I know that's not rational thinking, I know it's too much to
expect from myself, I know it's too much for anybody to expect from me. But
boy lemme tell you....I'm finding it very hard to separate my heart from my
head.

Physically Dad is in excellent shape for his age.  He'll be 71 this month,
he looks no older than about 55... and he has absolutely no physical
problems....at all.  I'm sure he could jump over my head if he really wanted
to.  At the assessment yesterday I got smacked with the reality. We entered
the building to see a huge glass viewing window where we could look in on
the day program in progress. Dad's comment was...."Look at all the old
people in there!".   My god....you're all going to think I need my head
checked....but I only realized yesterday that my father is old.

Then he was asked who I was...Dad just looked at me with a completely blank
stare. He was asked his age....he repied 25. He was asked where he
lived...he offfered the address that he lived at as a young child.  He's
never been married, doesn't have any children, was not aware of his own
middle name, the date, or even the country he lives in.

I was absolutely shocked..and yesterday, I had no idea why.  It's not like
this is subtle enough to miss it.  Today I realize that this was my own
fault because I've obviously been way over-compensating for him.... by
taking responsibility for even supplying his memory, constantly reminding
and correcting what's left of his memory... and also for so many more things
associated with his needs that I failed to even give myself the opportunity
to even see the extent of his disease.  Denial....Big time.

SO..this daycare option is going to really be the first step for me in
finding a way to manage the reality of my own life as the child of a person
with Alz. disease.  I gotta get over this....and fast.