Mom has become completely paranoid about my brother.  She went over to
his house this weekend, nicely dressed, wearing makeup, and demanded her
car keys, because she wanted to "drive to California to see Ellen."
(Ellen is her sister, and lives in Maryland.  It's our sister Kim who
lives in California.)  John of course refused.  She kept demanding her
keys off and on all weekend, and finally threatened to call the police.
 He said fine, he wouldn't mind talking to the police.

She also said she was fine, and wanted to stop taking her medication;
there was no reason she needed it, she said.

Later on in the weekend, he made the mistake of calling her cat by its
name, Winnie.  Mom blew up at him, insisted this cat isn't Winnie, and
accused John of trying to make her believe she was crazy so he could
steal her stock portfolio.

It's over.  He can't help her anymore.  So when they go to San Diego
this weekend, it's not going to be a question of showing mom the
residential care facility to see how she likes it -- it's going to be a
case of checking her in, whether she's happy about it or not.  And we
fully suspect she will *not* be happy about it, and will believe it's a
horrible plot so we can all steal her house and her stuff and her money
and everything she owns.

I must tell you, this is *exactly* what I've dreaded.  Mom has to be
*terrified*, thinking her family is plotting against her and gaslighting
her.  Though so far she hasn't expressed distrust of me or Kim -- but
just wait till we tell her that no, we won't come take her out of "that
place."

Still, we're moving forward.  There's nothing else to do.

Dana