Jan-ed
I'm glad you found a bereavement group in your area.  I wish my husband
would take advantage of the one here at hospice.  The caregiver support
group ought to be beneficial to you also.
You said, "All the other attendees are grieving for someone who has
already passed
on, but since I am feeling the grief and loss now I decided to join"

You are already grieving for the loss of the mother you knew so it's
entirely appropriate for you to attend now. You are expriencing the
loss of her as she was. I hope the group helps you now and later when
she does pass.

With me, because I worked for a facility, they wouldn't let me attend a
local support group even though I was caring for two family members
with AD.  They had a rule prohitibing employees of facilities from
attending meetings unless invited to speak.  I would have been
attending as a family member looking for the support in the group.
They wouldn't let me though because they didn't want family members to
be afraid to speak out by having a facility employee there. I still
felt like it was wrong but I understood their point of view.  I needed
at that point to be part of a group like that because I'd had both
in-laws in my home for over 7 years, had just placed one of them and
gone back to work PT. I had been at home for several years with them
and my children and was dying for adult conversation/socialization and
needed the information I could gain on AD from that group who dealt
with it on a daily basis.