Just heard a little while ago from Jules.

He is in the hospital just now too.   Stress will do it to you every time if
you have a bad back, and it seems that his is acting up right now too.   He
got some bad news... from the best neurosurgeon in England.... a guy he has
been waiting a whole year to see.   The doctor told him that surgery would
most likely not help him, and in fact might make it worse, so he wouldn't do
it.   This was hard to hear, since he had pinned a great many hopes on this.

His grandfather is looking a little better, but Julian has come to the same
conclusion all of us have, when first looking at nursing homes;   That the
people in the nursing homes seem to be in so much worse shape than our own
loved one.    His grandfather, like all our loved ones, seemed to function
somewhat well in a familiar situation, but when placed in unfamiliar
surroundings his deficits became much more pronounced.

I recalled very vividly how Ida reacted when she first went to the daycare
center.   She told us that "all those people are VERY CRAZY.... and I am NOT
crazy..."     Well the time came when she became quite as impaired as the
others were, unfortunately.   Then later on, when we placed her in the
nursing home, it was very much the same scenario, that so many of the other
patients seemed to be in so much worse shape than she was.    But though
alzheimers is a disease that manages to level the great along with the weak,
we were fortunate that it wasn't alzheimers that ultimately took her away.

I feel so bad for Julian, he has so many challenges right now.  He has
severe back problems that prevent him from holding the kinds of jobs he'd
like to do, and the only person he has in his life that is an inspiration
and loving and supportive to him, has this godawful disease that all of us
are in some way dealing with, or have dealt with in the past.

He told me it was OK to post about the situation..... so your kind wishes,
or prayers or whatever you care to indulge in .....are most appreciated.

I have to tell you a funny story that I have been laughing about ever since
I hung up.   Julian doesn't get along well with his dad, as you probably
know.   Naturally, he came to visit Julian's grandfather just as Julian did.
There was a small container of insect repellent sitting on a table in the
room, and Julian's dad asked him if Julian had brought it.   He told him no,
but it didn't matter... the stuff was no good anyway.   Of course Julian's
dad asked why was that?   He told him it was definitely no good because it
hadn't kept HIM away!!!!!!   They did get into a bit of an argument after
that, of course.    But every time I think of it I started laughing.

Even under the worst of circumstances Julian has this wit and a sense of
humor that is quite unique.