Hello all,

Thanks to all who responded to my earlier post. Your responses were
helpful and it is also encouraging to know that others have struggled
(and continue to struggle) with these same issues. Early this week,
things with my dad took a decided turn for the worse. He seemed to
"have it in" for my adult brother who is disabled and living at home.
He kept asking me and my mother who that was. Was it his brother? Was
it a boarder? At other times he was convinced that my brother was an
intruder that had to be gotten rid of. The last straw was went he
started telling my mother that he was going to "club that guy to
death." My mom was scared and for two nights laid in bed with her steel
cane beside her and her cell phone under her pillow. She was afraid to
go to sleep because dad was waking up and wandering around the house
during the night. Every day brought multiple angry outbursts and
catastrophic reactions. She had had it!

I was hoping to convince my dad that he had an appointment with his
doctor at the VA in Omaha (almost two hours away) and drive him there
myself. However, conversation with him led me to believe that he wasn't
going to go willingly. He kept ranting and raving about how he'd never
go to that damn VA hospital again. In talking to the local hospital and
the social workers at the VA, we concocted the plan to try to get him
to the local emergency room and then have him taken by ambulance to the
VA hospital. My husband came with his pickup truck and we told my
father that we were going to pick up a part for his car (which
thankfully has not been drivable, since he would not willingly give up
driving, either) and did he want to come along. Dad wanted to come, and
on the way there, I told him I needed to stop somewhere else and drop
off some papers (the local emergency room). While i was inside trying
to figure out how we were going to get dad inside and my husband was
sitting in the truck with dad trying to figure out the same thing, dad
complained about being hot. My husband suggested that they go inside
where it was cool and find out what i was doing. Thus, they came in and
sat down and my dad picked up a paper to look at while I was still
talking to the admitting clerk and nurse. In a little while, a nurse
came out and asked him if she could check his blood pressure. He
willingly followed her and VOILA! he was behind the locked door of the
emergency ward.

The next two hours were really rough as I sat in the waiting area and
listened to him rant and rave about how he wanted to leave and they
couldn't keep him there. The nurses and doctor were really good about
trying to keep him distracted, but eventually he got so agitated and
was screaming at the top of his lungs, so they gave him a shot to calm
him down. Eventually he went to sleep while the ambulance was en route.

I tried to keep a low profile during all of this, because I knew if dad
saw me he would ask to go home. I did follow the ambulance to Omaha and
sign the admitting papers at the VA. I stayed overnight with a friend
and had not intended to see dad again before returning home, but the
next day the charge nurse encouraged me to visit him and assured me
that they would distract him if he got "wound up." I had a nice visit
with dad and he was glad to see me, but of course wanted to know if I
would take him home. I told him "not today." One of the nursing
assistants took him off to play checkers and I slipped out. However,
yesterday, he called on the telephone to ask me to come and get him.
Mom and I are going to visit tomorrow and we are going to have to tell
him "the doctor says you are too sick to come home." We are dreading
that.

The psychiatric unit at this VA hospital is just short-term care and
the local nursing home has a wait, so in the meantime, he is going to
be placed in another nursing home in the area. We are having difficulty
finding one with an Alzheimer's unit that actually has a male bed. The
VA HAS to keep him until they find a place for him, so we are hoping
and prayng that something in the local home opens up soon. Mom doesn't
drive and there is really no one to take her to visit daddy except me -
and I work over 100 miles from their hometown. Mom is finally getting a
little rest, but this thing is far from over.

I've written too much already, but this is therapeutic, although
emotionally draining to recount all that has happened the last few
days. Thanks for the opportunity to vent.

Karla